Love: Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself...

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 640

You deserved it 4 070

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 334

You deserved it 5 168

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 160

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 64 685

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 34 574

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

I would feel sorry for the poor dear if she didn't make such a shallow excuse.

Mikeymikey 4

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:07

well there's only one thing left to do!!! Give her another black eye 0_o

Comments

HeroOfMi 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 21:45

and people believed her? ninjas don't leave evidence...

lostsoul1715 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 22:17

That sux for you. I would dump her!!!!

Drummer389000 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 0:36

leave the bitch.

Awabo 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 0:52

If it's so easy for her to come up with lies like you beat her, it seems that she could be capable of formulating something worse with relative ease.

higgy6969 7

Thursday 27 May 2010 1:04

might as well play along next time you are getting coffee or whatever let her go in first then follow in about three minutes later yelling at her to get her ass in the car or she's going to get more of the same

cmatthewf 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 1:05

lol OP are you Connor???

Eric_Cartman 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 1:50

49 for the win!

youngrob 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 2:30

dump that hoe

OddHatter 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 3:17

That is terrible! I hope tomorrow we see something like: "Yesterday I walked into a door and gave myself a black eye. Feeling embarrassed, I said my boyfriend did it. Today I'm looking for a new boyfriend to blame. FML as I'm a miserable twat."

PMS_Queen 2

Thursday 27 May 2010 3:44

OMFG. This post is not even funny. This is just like when stupid girls say, "I'm pregnant," and they're not, or something equally fake because they're attention ****** and will say anything to anyone. And, as always, there is always someone dumb enough (or, in this case, in high enough authority) to take matters seriously, and BAAM! your arse is up on assault charges. As a domestic violence survivor myself, I would never consider saying something like that, for attention or otherwise. It sounds suspiciously like she's crying wolf.....but, if she does this enough, if it ever really does happen, maybe no one will believe her. Maybe she likes that kind of stuff? "Like it rough", I mean. ??? In either case, you're better off hitting the road. Do you live with her? You could get socked with domestic violence charges, as opposed to just assault charges. No need for a felony that you're not guilty of. Seriously. Leave her ass. I hate women who pull this crap. Makes the rest of us look bad, or worse, just like them. I'm not going to wish actual violence on her.......a nice case of herpes shall do. Stupid girls like that make me so mad.