Love: Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself...

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 640

You deserved it 4 070

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 334

You deserved it 5 168

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 160

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 64 685

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 34 574

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

I would feel sorry for the poor dear if she didn't make such a shallow excuse.

Mikeymikey 4

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:07

well there's only one thing left to do!!! Give her another black eye 0_o

Comments

monnanon 13

Wednesday 26 May 2010 12:48

what a cow, get rid of her. If she can lie about something like that who knows what she will say you have done down the line.

DJuan 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 12:56

lol @ 49. I love the kitchen jokes

isabellaah94 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:16

I had a friend who did get bashed by her bf and told everyone she walked into a door.. FHL

Artemis_Huntress 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:34

F your friend's life, or F the GF's life, because while your friend obviously didn't deserve it (no one does) the GF was a bitch and should get slapped for saying a lie that could get the OP in a lot of trouble.

nizzy09 3

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:19

Why are you still calling her your girlfriend? she seems very insecure if she can't admit she ran into something. we all do stupid shit sometimes. and she sounds crazy to if she is gonna make up such a big lie that affects you.

davek 36

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:24

Throw her out of your house. Change the locks, leave her stuff on the lawn, and sue her for slander.

Subtext 10

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:37

The only rabbit where this would be believable is Bun-bun. Or probably the rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (but I think Bun-bun got inspired by this rabbit anyway...)

nuklear7 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:44

if she's saying it off-handedly, its because people today are going to suspect it anyways... if she tells the truth, they'll come to the conclusion that you really are beating her and she's protecting you. if she says it off handedly and not really emphasizing on it, then she'll realize people will draw their own conclusions and NOT on you.... she's actually covering your butt in the female world. i'm guessing you're in your teens?

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Wednesday 26 May 2010 16:30

I can see this. That's pretty much the last thing an abused woman would say casually. She may just have a dark, dry sense of humor. I'm touchy about abuse jokes so I wouldn't say that, but even if I did, my family and friends would know I was being ridiculous. They know my husband too well to believe it. If she's saying it to total strangers or doing a fake crying/confiding bit, that's crossing a line. Tell her you're uncomfortable with it and if she continues, drop the attention *****.