Miscellaneous: Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian...

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By zombielover1 - 13/07/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 177

You deserved it 12 835

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Same thing different taste

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 298

You deserved it 1 829

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:25 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 101

You deserved it 30 148

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 244

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 263

By BurnBabyBurn - 22/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Roberta

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 700

You deserved it 628

By DeepTaccer - 30/10/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 6 297

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 498

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 608

You deserved it 56 784

Date night

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 03:00

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 178

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 594

You deserved it 66 565

Fredzter 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:08

HAHAHAHAHA!! That is brilliant!! xD

Vasir 2

Monday 13 July 2009 16:21

This one time i accidently did that to a macoroni and cheese noodle. i sneezed out the noodle. It still had cheese..

Comments

nativebacon 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:08

Man, that sucks

eaglesfan761 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 22:06

For sure. And it was a jalapeno, so you know that had to burn like hell.

cstevanus 4

Saturday 11 September 2010 18:28

that happened to me once with cheesecake. unbelievibly uncomfortable. then i started sneezing alot which didnt help.

Fredzter 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:08

HAHAHAHAHA!! That is brilliant!! xD

Inked2009 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:13

Haha lesson learned! Never eat any form of spicy food when you are watching something funny.

Zero2Sixty 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:16

been there done that :)

cucuto89 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:17

Cool Story BRo;

xDropsOfJupiterx 8

Wednesday 4 July 2012 8:57

Someone should punch you in the face.

Vasir 2

Monday 13 July 2009 16:21

This one time i accidently did that to a macoroni and cheese noodle. i sneezed out the noodle. It still had cheese..

AndelleRae 9

Tuesday 14 July 2009 11:47

Lmfao. 6, I had the same thing happen, only mine was from a Rugrats themed box of mac & cheese. I totally sneezed Chucky out. Awesome times, right?

Imthedaddy11 16

Wednesday 10 February 2016 4:49

I read that as I still smell cheese

CodeMan16 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:23

you might be a redneck if...

kekeshayeshaye 4

Thursday 16 September 2010 5:47

nicee

iKaite 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:27

I moderated this one and I lol'd epically.

eli_guerra 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:31

Lol that musta burned too!!

GabriLee 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:38

Ow. I feel like I cannot fully comprehend the level of FML that this contains. It sucks getting anything up your nose, I can't imagine a jalapeno... F your life indeed.