Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction... - FML

By mylifesucks - 31/01/2014 23:50 - France - Paris

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 337

You deserved it 12 687

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ICantBelieveThis - 06/03/2010 14:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 371

You deserved it 8 942

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 014

You deserved it 9 487

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 127

You deserved it 12 912

Keep us posted

By suxx - 25/06/2011 08:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked around for hours with a Post-it on my back reading, "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 8 225

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 3 765

By Twilightsux - 31/01/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 264

You deserved it 6 133

By Ignitingmylightsaber - 18/10/2009 11:29 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 999

You deserved it 3 562

By sadinthesack - 31/08/2009 18:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 895

You deserved it 10 942

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 15 455

Zigazig Ah

By Anonymous - 17/12/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 377

You deserved it 809

Next

Top comments

cricketsins 36

Saturday 1 February 2014 12:59

Well, since apparently that kind of behavior is acceptable, I would take this opportunity to put a poster of someone you find attractive on your wall for the same purpose. Seems fair to me.

transcedental 18

Saturday 1 February 2014 13:01

Aw, honey, that sucks. I am sorry. But on the other hand if you have a girlfriend that's into OD, isn't she too young to be doing it? *cough*

Comments

Nissi 17

Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:38

1D fans are off their rockers.

megalggggg 19

Saturday 5 September 2015 8:58

kinky

Gaviskar 9

Wednesday 16 September 2015 15:44

YDI for dating a child.

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 6 July 2016 14:54

DMHS :P no you just **** her real good so the only direction she'll ever be going is yours ;)

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 6 July 2016 14:56

she hot?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 060

You deserved it 8 155

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, my period came two days late. After fretting for two days, my body made it up to me by sticking three days of symptoms in one day. I needed Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Scotch, and cuddles before I got any relief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 141

Today, I'm recovering from a brain injury that occurred a few months ago. The newest challenge I'm facing is thinking the floor is moving any time there is a change in colour or texture. My house has patterned tile floors and carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 842

You deserved it 1 240

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 335

You deserved it 4 290

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 1 075

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 286

You deserved it 6 858

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503