Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When...

By nV1ous - 17/09/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 114

You deserved it 56 992

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 3 711

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 01/03/2020 18:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 109

By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 277

You deserved it 3 135

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 5 876

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 171

Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 108

Better safe than sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 00:00

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 120

By ronboy - 26/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 749

You deserved it 2 815

mozrox 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:31

Uh... Is your girlfriend really that sensitive? Who the hell cries because someone moved them out of the way? YDI for having a pussy as a girlfriend.

jonnymohio 2

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:38

You and your girlfriend are both at fault. She, for being a crybaby drunk, and you for being a hothead drunk. Take some anger management classes.

Comments

jessxoxo28 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:31

i agree with #9

JaneDoe_71 0

Friday 18 September 2009 0:06

Explain why

geppy 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:31

Wow, you're a douchebag, aren't you? I'm surprised you know how to use the Internet.. YDI for being a hotheaded moron.

Sodam_INsane 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:33

you are what we in the business call a douche bag

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:34

Drunk cripple? You should've found another one, gotten them both smashed, and had some Cripplelympics. Wheel-chair drag race, wheelchair jousting, cripple style MMA, etc... I'd back this all the way.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 18 September 2009 0:31

YOU GOT BURIED TWINNY! D,:

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 18 September 2009 0:32

Haturrs can't take a joke on this site =/

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 0:50

I liked your joke, Hasian. :)

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 18 September 2009 0:55

aww thanks, toxi ♥

RyeBreadBoy 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:35

i'm not positive, but i'm fairly certain that qualifies as assault. depending on the level of inebriation, maybe drunk and disorderly conduct. nice one, jerk.

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:20

I totally agree with this.

mooneydriver 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:37

"Shit. It doesn't pay to try to help someone these days"

jonnymohio 2

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:38

You and your girlfriend are both at fault. She, for being a crybaby drunk, and you for being a hothead drunk. Take some anger management classes.

zack767 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:41

you could of ask him wat happened not just throw ur beer at him and u could of asked ur pussy gf want exactly happened

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:23

Exactly! He totally overreacted. Also, he has a whiny brat that's desperate for attention for a girlfriend.

dudarino 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:47

Dude you are a ******* liar I saw that on fark.com just like you did..... You ******* douche....

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:28

Wow. This is probably the tenth FML I've seen that's been taken from a website/tv show. Some people just need attention, I guess.

Crunchy08 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:49

I thought only girls threw drinks at each other...hmph, you learn something new each day...ironically enough I should be learning chem right now since that's the class I'm ignoring to post this comment.