Love: Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's...

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

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Same thing different taste

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 259

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 659

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 693

You deserved it 54 444

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 692

You deserved it 3 407

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 834

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 356

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 4 389

loufol22 5

Saturday 21 April 2012 6:00

Did you shoot back at least??

zandalee 19

Saturday 21 April 2012 6:01

Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!

Comments

anarchistpunk 3

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:08

That's one asshole of a father. I've seen some protective dads, but that's just a jerk.

Alex1014 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:08

Should of been a camper but in real life...

Alex1014 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:12

You must've been a mural at the end of the day.. With the words "My Bitch" in the middle

mintcar 9

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:13

Little do you know your girlfriend was in on it the entire time.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:34

Holy Hell!!! paintballs hurt! I would have just pretended I was hit immediately and bowed out of the game before the dad got me for real.

perdix 29

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:42

I have the feeling the Marine dad doesn't count a splotch of paint as a legitimate kill. And when it comes to the guy doinking his daughter, maximizing his pain is accomplished using years of combat training.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:53

"Doinking"? You have such a colourful way of describing sexual acts. (:

extraketchup247 3

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:41

Run!!!!

damnu 3

Saturday 21 April 2012 7:51

Dude, you're sleeping with thé guy's daughter, what did you expect ? High-five with a "good job bro, she's hot " ? You have your revenge every single time you do the girl, so...

shapiroo 2

Saturday 21 April 2012 8:01

Go to "bitchamundo.com" and you could win $100.00 as everyone would feel sorry for you, LOOSER!!!

StalwartKitten 4

Saturday 21 April 2012 8:03

Once a marine always a marine. You're girl obviously sees something in you and good ole dad doesn't want to let his baby go. Standing your ground is a good thing. You have to earn his respect. Having a military father I know and have heard all the threats. It should get better if you make an effort.