Love and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised...

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 865

You deserved it 19 644

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 18 672

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 13:00

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 139

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 404

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 736

You deserved it 5 944

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 612

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 137

You deserved it 5 570

Cyker 6

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Well that's a mouthful.

sohigh10 34

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Hell of a first experience:|

Comments

storm74 9

Sunday 29 October 2017 2:44

"man-milk"? really?

kevinsagirl2323 8

Sunday 29 October 2017 2:57

geez you deserve it just for calling it your man milk

Bubbilility 27

Sunday 29 October 2017 13:07

That was rude, guess she doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell winning back your trust.

planetmars111 3

Monday 30 October 2017 0:24

you know what they say, spitters are quitters

windscar1212 10

Monday 30 October 2017 20:25

should have swallowed it. would have shown dominance

Clone1853 2

Tuesday 31 October 2017 6:53

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. As long as she doesn't do it again without talking to you than she's taught you a lesson you needed to learn. You have been baptized and will appreciatewhat she is doing for you when she lets you finish in her mouth.

KingAdrock 16

Wednesday 29 November 2017 23:05

"Today my boyfriend came up to kiss me but instead spat in my mouth, and almost pissed himself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up." Something tells me nobody would be defending the guy in this situation. So why is OP's story different?