Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke...

By WakeUpToADream - 25/09/2015 20:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 280

You deserved it 1 982

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 871

You deserved it 5 659

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 549

You deserved it 49 422

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 224

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 1 670

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 951

Cuteness overload

By Cpm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 867

You deserved it 5 211

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 4 540

By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 950

You deserved it 8 896

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

WCARlover 34

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:15

if only her boss knew the sacrifices she made

RitRit 20

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:11

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Comments

exergency 17

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:36

She's a keeper.

derangedplanet 23

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:59

hey at least she's pod trained! if fml has taught me anything it's that's not all people are! :)

SS 31

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:43

Best FML I've ever seen. Ngl I did this once, it was quite a smelly but satisfying experience, but I was alone in the middle of nowhere at the time.

Migole 36

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:45

The funny thing is that German trains aren't punctual at all ... better take japanese ones for examples :P

sturschaedel 27

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:56

Or Swiss. I don't think I ever arrived without incident whenever I was taking German trains. And I did that quite a lot for a couple of years.

9a_1z 12

Saturday 26 September 2015 23:53

I travelled through Switzerland and Germany a few months ago. Swiss trains were amazing and I was expecting more of the same when I got to Germany. I was very disappointed. Especially on the last day when I had a plane to catch and a lot of changes, seemed even worse than British trains!