Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care...

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 734

You deserved it 8 005

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 5 456

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 60 146

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 4 506

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 811

You deserved it 10 198

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 36 931

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 193

You deserved it 6 997

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 6 277

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 1 235

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 963

You deserved it 7 658

EllieB123 5

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:33

Wow, what a bitch! :/

mrahhhhh 21

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:38

Tell her "I don't mind, I'm ******* 2 other girls."

Comments

Theguy614 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:51

agreed^^

Sylverstone 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:52

Dump her. After a comment like that, she's way outta here.

anakaren_831 1

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:53

You're girlfriend is a smart cookie:) FYL, you can always get penis enhancers?:)

DarkHelmet 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:01

way to give OP false hope there

dfens 8

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:21

And you're some unlucky guy's dumbass ****.

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:54

She's an idiot. She could take a fist up there and be just as tight as before come the next day.

DarkHelmet 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:59

you should f**k her in the ass and see what comment she has then

kingtz 6

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:48

Exactly. Stick it in her butt next time and see if she still thinks it's small. And don't warn her first.

aardvarkish 16

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:11

I don't get how some guys accomplish a sneak rear entry. Girls act like I'm crazy to even suggest such a possibility.

mbrooks5110 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:05

firstly she's stupid cause it doesn't wrk that way second I hope u dumped her for saying that!

The_Voytek_Bear 14

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:06

Despite all the "**** her while you can" advise, I personally wouldn't be able to sleep with such a girl any more. i'd just wish her happy stretching elsewere. There is no good sex life if there is bad atmosphere...