Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for...

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 023

You deserved it 11 617

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Same thing different taste

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 312

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 7 122

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 7 022

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 464

You deserved it 9 862

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 566

You deserved it 32 065

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 474

You deserved it 3 671

Quick thinking

By rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 723

You deserved it 4 005

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 206

You deserved it 3 765

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 617

You deserved it 7 746

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

irishfever 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 1:48

not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her

kwbuzz23wk 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 1:48

sounds like a compliment

Comments

hellosies 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:40

I agree with #2. It sounds like a compliment to me. Like it was so big she feinted XD

Irish_Toast 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 13:09

That's not exactly a bad thing. xD

bubblyblonde 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 6:46

Before jumping to conclusions... Did you forget to shave?

MassieMocha 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 7:08

It's not a bad thing really, she maybe was astonished because of your size. It's cute, no worries as long as she's okay.

udontknowme69 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 6:06

Rock on bro...all it means is you're packing a serious summer sausage down there...you'll be lucky if she doesn't faint the first time she sits on it hah

nativehunniiee 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 14:12

wow dude. i dated a guy for a month and we had for the first time ! and ps. im 18/ ive been doing this since i was 14

Venasaysdie 0

Monday 17 August 2009 8:30

Wow, congratulations. You have succesfully told potentially thousands of people that you are a *****. Keep that shit to yourself, *****.

thekandymaan 0

Monday 24 August 2009 9:36

Atta boy. mollywop her.

FluffyChan 2

Thursday 3 September 2009 23:03

Lol, sounds more like FHL for obviously not watching enough **** an seeing enough dick.

darkfalling 4

Saturday 3 October 2009 12:51

Bah, I don't know why everyone is suggesting they try BJs and HJs before actual sex. To me that's 'servicing' each other. It's funny to do after you're already 'intimate' but beforehand it's the biggest waste of time ever. If you care about someone enough to sleep with them, do it when you're ready. It's generally the people who are a waste of time who try other things... because they know you're not going to sleep with them!