Love: Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her,...

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 428

You deserved it 6 394

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Same thing different taste

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 180

You deserved it 6 854

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 2 119

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

Extreme response

By poordude - 03/04/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 143

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 9 108

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 339

You deserved it 3 454

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 800

You deserved it 13 648

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 102

You deserved it 8 575

superman21_fml 19

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:04

Call her bluff.

Bhall12302 7

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:09

Who else hates it when you accidentally hit the "you deserve it" button

Comments

kiroarous 9

Saturday 3 August 2013 22:57

Well, she is still alive from her last relationship, yea call her bluff!!!

blondie107 20

Saturday 3 August 2013 23:07

Say you'll marry her, call a Suicide Hotline and have her put on a Suicide watch in the psych ward. Then, get a restraining order(:

eightpack007 7

Sunday 4 August 2013 1:02

Let her off herself. She's not worth it. She's crazy

kaaaatiiee 12

Sunday 4 August 2013 5:20

Stay with her long enough to get her some help, then get out!

poopsi 19

Sunday 4 August 2013 9:43

MrZsDad 19

Sunday 4 August 2013 17:11

Good news is she kills hersel you won't have to break up with her.

DJEddieXZ 9

Sunday 4 August 2013 21:26

Call her parents

tarbaby6193 6

Monday 5 August 2013 5:02

Break up wit her no balls

lexim1130 15

Monday 5 August 2013 7:23

Dude run, get away because she's crazy lol

Elfkid21 19

Monday 5 August 2013 12:39

Dude; BRO TALK: LEAVE THE PSYCHO!!!

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The Top

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 63

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 495

You deserved it 2 922

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 331

You deserved it 4 188

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 8 606

Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 2 501

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 686

You deserved it 3 678

Today, I forked over a hefty sum to stay the night in a beautiful, luxurious hotel room, because back home I have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night yet. Never would I have imagined I would be staying directly next to the town nightclub. I'm still awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 1 220

Same thing different taste

Extreme response

Awks

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