Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when...

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By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 482

You deserved it 774

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 172

You deserved it 5 576

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 663

You deserved it 21 054

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 617

You deserved it 6 228

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 634

You deserved it 1 196

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 408

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 132

You deserved it 23 535

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 028

You deserved it 1 801

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 482

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 336

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 8 244

MyLifeAintThatBad 10

Saturday 26 August 2017 1:39

did you go to the hospital?? honest question

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 26 August 2017 1:42

This sounds like the start of a new sitcom.

Comments

Ricrad 11

Sunday 27 August 2017 5:49

Sounds like something out of an American Pie movie.

AJ1981 12

Tuesday 16 November 2021 18:15

A tear came to my eye while reading this hopefully you weren't involuntary circumcised

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I agree, your life sucks 6 995

You deserved it 1 544

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I agree, your life sucks 42 934

You deserved it 4 962

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I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 953

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I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 136

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 225

You deserved it 260 142

Today, things have gotten so bad with my wife that we both used the smell and sound of outside traffic as an excuse to not have anniversary sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 363