By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Spicy
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 657
You deserved it 21 052
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
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Top comments

Comments

McGoldie 0

Bit of a mood ruiner hey?

203 10
rexgar2000 10

Good for your boyfriend, it was probably very intense ******* lol but anyway FYL

14 5
DynamicDave 11

That's how you know it's a quality *******! Enthusiasm + friction = awesomeness

15 2
SpruceDread4578 13

5- that joke sucked badly.

17 6
EvilPotato 14

Doctor- "ma'am how'd this happen." OP- "...um... I was giving my boyfriend a *******." Doctor- "..."

27 3
NeatNit 32

Good for you! It must mean he has a huge dick!

10 1
thorscope 0

There will probably now be a MLIB post "my schlong is so big, it dislocated my bitches jaw MLIB"

1 0
kbobcat 0

Doctor: now would you like to demonstrate how this happened? Op: ...

26 2
sexxxysydney 14

Your bf either has a huuuuuge penis, or you're doing it wrong.

25 0
fatgirllovesfml 0

Wow, that's one heck of a boner he got there!

2 8
angry_anonymous 5

OR OP IS A F*CKIN IDIOT AND RAMMED THE **** INTO HER MOUTH SIDEWAYS AND IT POPPED HER JAW OUT.

2 42
Keyman1212 14

You mad bro? You got the Billy Mays button stuck down.

29 2
Boygenius50 8

Lol Billy Mays button. Never heard it described that way xD

5 2
angry_anonymous 5

HAHA YOUR HILARIOUS, GET A LIFE YOUR MOM WANTS HER BASEMENT BACK

1 38
Keyman1212 14

I know you're retarded, and you've tried to create an angry troll account for yourself, so I'll give you your first meal. I don't live with my mother, I have my own house, and more likely than not, it is nicer than any dwelling you'll ever be living in. Furthermore, my mother has cancer, so if you make another reference to her I'll have a mod look up your IP address, which will consequently give me the address to the government housing you and your miserable family lives in, and I'll replace your eye balls with your testicles, and I'll sew your mouth to your own anus, and finally, and I would frankly say most importantly, you suck a horse's phallus at trolling. Good day chodesicle.

57 2
blaherman 12

Good luck getting a mod to give you their ip, nobody in their right mind would give Someone information on another to cause bodily harm.

0 12
Keyman1212 14

My God, humor has died... Yes, I'm ACTUALLY going to go dismember somebody... You sir fail at living.

21 0
KronikSplakkn 4

are you dating John Holmes ?

0 0
SystemofaBlink41 27

Dude I seriously could not stop laughing!

0 0
angry_anonymous 5

AND I SHOULD KNOW THAT ABOUT YOUR MOM HOW? EITHER WAY MY APOLOGIES AND I HOPE SHE GETS BETTER. AND HAVE FUN TRYING TO GET MY IP ADDRESS AND BEAT ME UP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'D BE GETTING INTO.

0 3
angry_anonymous 5

ESPECIALLY IF YOU KNEW THE OCCUPATION OF THE BEST FRIEND OF THE INDIVIDUAL YOU JUST THREATENED.

0 3
angry_anonymous 5

PS DROP THE MACHO MAN ATTITUDE YOU ARENT TOUGH.

0 1
angry_anonymous 5

OH AND BTW I WON'T SAY THEIR OCCUPATION BECAUSE THEN WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THEM I CAN SNAP AND THREATEN TO STICH YOUR MOUTH TO YOUR ASSHOLE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT THEY DO.

0 1
Syntax_fml 4

Drop the caps. You aren't yelling. And if you are yelling, you fail at Internet.

0 0
hiflier1012 3

Can we please stop talking in all caps?

0 0
eln3mo13 8

that's what happens when you date the jolly green giant

37 1
eurostar710 11

He will be telling ALLLL his friends. That's probably the biggest confidence booster for a guy. Haha

60 1
nunsrtight69 0

did you at least finish with a handie?

26 1
legitimmeee 0

What's is a ********?

4 73
False_Stupidity 41

#284 there's this amazing thing called google, use it for any question that begins with 'what is...'

22 4
Jammy01jams 2

Don't scare him! Lockjaw is the most feared thing to a guy when receiving a BJ. Hospital encounter to get your mouth off his penis is awkward unless you're willing to rip his dick off. Oh also the fear that you may be a crazy both and bite our dick off. I never thought BJs were smart. Most vulnerable part of body into girls mouth with sharp teeth? Hmmm

6 35
tittymagic 0

Sorry I didn't mean to op...

5 1
theten_fml 9

Half horse half man

18 1
thethingthatshou 4

Bet that's gonna hard to explain to your parents...

13 0
thethingthatshou 4

Bet that was hard to explain to your parents...

0 0
lovexbox 8

She could've been small lol

63 12
howdmynosego 12

At least it didn't get stuck down her throght

indielove 13

Good luck explaining that one at the hospital.

169 6
Buttsexpirate 9

The monster **** strikes again. It's been on the move, dislocating jaws across the country. Seems like it'll end up in new jersey next.

170 4
Georgieeporgiee 9

Sorry I can't put small objects in my mouth I'll coke.

Streeet_hayley 6

71- Yeah, I would coke too..

238 10
popples2112 2

It saddens me that you think throat is spelled that way.

145 7
jacob4848 4

It was so big that if he stuck it in any farther his balls would have broke both of her collar bones.

123 4
Sielune 8

102 - You have two clavicles, aka collarbones, with your sternum in the middle.

168 3
SkardeyKat 3

102 yeah I know someone that just broke BOTH collarbones. That must mean there's two.

36 2
Boygenius50 8

27, 61, 71, and 102 just made a fail train. All aboard!

78 1
DoubleDose 0

127 I just thumbed you up because it sounded correct with all those big words

82 7
ibedestinie 0

yeah um.. @GeorgieePorgiee hate to break it to you but small things can't dislocate people's jaws. see and i bet you thought you were being funny. well it's okay, some people laugh at dumbasses!

30 11
TuteSweet 13

lol 69 likes... I figures this was an appropriate FML to make that comment.

3 28
Chloe2008 0

I could not stop laughing!!

1 19
Corygerm 9

500 likes?! sweeetttr

4 6
liljim61290 4

Good luck telling your family how you broke your jaw! Haha

5 18
bamagrl410 31

Pretty sure 144's response just justified me reading all of this. And I thought I was just wasting time. Haha

2 2
SimoneDymond 3

JAW BREAKERS! FTW

4 10
Sethro 1

or possibly her parents...

0 9
Sethro 1

Are you seriously that ******* stupid to think you only have one collar bone?

8 4
CaitlinChronic 4

Glad i'm not the only person that knows who OG Mudbone is.

1 6
boxbrandon11 20

Dont chew on jaw breakers

0 4
Uraharas_Bankai 1

Yeah, that sucks!

2 8
bizarre_ftw 21

Hey 3, I'm still a girl scout :).......

7 38
trgower13 0

I hope you kept going! Blue balls suck.

7 2
DrDilllonReese 12

Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Evander Holyfield... None pack the punch of your boyfriend's dick

14 1
CatEyes66 0

Ya, he cocked blocked himself with his own ****....must of sucked big time.

4 11
MrKlutch 1

He's probably wondering if she'll finish up later?

3 0
Timmeeh 17

At least he must be "gifted" in that area If you ended up with a dislocated jaw. What may not be good for giving oral is, I'm sure very good in other respects.

110 2
angry_anonymous 5

HES PROBABLY GOT A TINY **** AND SHE DISLOCATED HER JAW TRYING TO SUCK HIS ASSHOLE AT THE SAME TIME TO GIVE HIM MORE PLEASURE

0 0
angry_anonymous 5

OR HE'S SO SMALL SHE TRIED TO SUCK HIS ASSHOLE AT THE SAME TIME TO GIVE HIM MORE PLEASURE AND DISLOCATED HER JAW

1 0
CryMoreFMLs 14

CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL STILL?! I NEVER KNEW! Turn it off, screaming in a rage isn't necessary*.... *sp?

3 12
angry_anonymous 5

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID, OBVIOUSLY SOME ESL LESSONS ARE NECESSARY FOR YOU KIND SIR

0 1
Mister_Triangle 21

With her jaw messed up, she could open wider and go deeper. It would have been unwise to miss that opportunity.

13 4
grahambertus 11

Im just gonna blow my load and say it, that sucks. Hopefully you don't have any oral reports cumming soon.

10 5