Love: Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about...

By ouch - 09/12/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 058

You deserved it 76 302

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 19:09

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 283

You deserved it 56 431

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 898

You deserved it 24 991

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 371

Healthy relationship

By scared - 24/06/2020 23:02

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 576

By anonymous - 27/02/2012 23:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 752

You deserved it 2 994

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 8 832

Trick question

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 21:57 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 592

You deserved it 33 670

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 259

awesome_o 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:16

YDI for calling them dingleberries

Telionis 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:18

I thought dingleberries were the result of poor wiping post bowl movement?

Comments

rozz13 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 23:34

wow ur really stupid.... YDI for saying cushion for pushin.

ktlok152 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 3:16

Toad

jk9037 0

Friday 5 August 2011 7:39

Dingleberries aren't testicles, which I'm sure you were referring to.

TuteSweet 13

Thursday 25 August 2011 7:50

Lol. Yd. You called the family jewels dingle berries.

ihavetopoopnow 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 4:19

what are these dingle berries you speak of?

l4d98 2

Monday 9 January 2012 1:17

Who said the guy has any "berries"?

funnynesh 10

Friday 27 January 2012 11:47

Dingleberries?

ImafukNskittleYO 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 19:18

OP.. Youre an asshole. Plain and simple. If my boyfriend said that, I would think he just wanted sex AND that I was fat. Oh and youre also an idiot. Are you in such a need for physical interaction with your dick that you dont mind touching your shitballs? What has the world come to? YDI.