Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage...

By devilboy - 06/07/2011 11:26 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 146

You deserved it 18 029

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 279

You deserved it 3 722

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 341

You deserved it 7 041

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 3 435

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 713

You deserved it 10 552

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 279

You deserved it 7 888

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 420

You deserved it 6 698

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 9 620

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 666

You deserved it 7 573

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 315

You deserved it 9 617

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 9 932

aprilita 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:01

To console her by making love to her ;)

ParkersGirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:00

LMAO!

Comments

nicholasj96 9

Friday 19 July 2013 21:49

If you really cared about her, you wouldn't have let her .

erin37 27

Saturday 19 October 2013 0:10

Ugh I feel for you man.

that_person18 4

Monday 20 January 2014 9:49

You that bad?

vinylscratchp0n3 23

Sunday 22 June 2014 4:55

YDI for dating a nutcase.

rameses1210 18

Sunday 1 February 2015 11:24

389, I agree with you completely. Here's to love and reason

HUGBUG 23

Wednesday 27 May 2015 4:21

Lol this one was funny

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 5 February 2016 10:50

Gotta love it when somebody makes a decision they regret and decides blaming it on someone else is a mature way to deal with the guilt.

Unlucky1232 20

Thursday 14 April 2016 4:57

remind her it was her idea in the first place.

Ilovemusic237 19

Tuesday 12 July 2016 5:40

Maybe she was crying from guilt?

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Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 75

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 706

The Top

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 656

You deserved it 5 327

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 033

You deserved it 8 629

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 673

You deserved it 64 646

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 114

You deserved it 3 131

Today, our town is so bored that the most entertainment we got was on the local buy and sell trade page, where someone posted that they got someone else's package in the mail, and everyone in town spent 6 hours trying to guess what was in the box. It was actually the highlight of most of our day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 198

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 317

Same thing different taste

Jesus wept

Like a virgin

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