Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage...

By devilboy - 06/07/2011 11:26 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 158

You deserved it 18 034

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 289

You deserved it 3 724

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 342

You deserved it 7 042

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 3 436

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 10 557

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 285

You deserved it 7 891

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 100

You deserved it 9 622

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 679

You deserved it 7 573

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 323

You deserved it 9 621

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 9 933

aprilita 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:01

To console her by making love to her ;)

ParkersGirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:00

LMAO!

Comments

FMLrivvil 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:25

Oh honey, I hope you found a new girlfriend

flufflybuttons 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 5:16

slap that bitch and say bitch calm down

sullifreshh 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 2:48

wow how douchey and inconsiderate are you. she was trying to make you happy.

kaebug34 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:13

GROW UP PEOPLE ITS A WEBSITE CHILL THE HELL OUT JUST STICK TO COMMENTING ON THE CHURCH FML MY GOD THE HUMAN SPECIES HAS GONE TO SHIT

anthony99 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:53

More proof that only hyper-religious people wait until marriage

waterpologurly 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:43

well this is prob gunna get voted down but for all those Christian girls out there can I get a thumbs up for purity b4 marriage?

mklovn 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:14

in the words of a great poet: 'Doesn't matter had sex'

dmw25 0

Friday 2 September 2011 17:47

Its time to drop her dude. Ha ha

jonnyboy1351 6

Monday 5 September 2011 17:03

Sad thing is this will end up being me in some years.....

Grimjowjagerjak 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 14:41

Wow, and lol

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 789

You deserved it 6 804

Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 182

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 6 714

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 6 908

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 341

You deserved it 4 122

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 589

You deserved it 7 619

Same thing different taste

Jesus wept

Like a virgin

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