Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage...

By devilboy - 06/07/2011 11:26 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 146

You deserved it 18 029

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 279

You deserved it 3 722

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 341

You deserved it 7 041

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 3 435

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 713

You deserved it 10 552

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 279

You deserved it 7 888

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 420

You deserved it 6 698

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 9 620

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 666

You deserved it 7 573

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 315

You deserved it 9 617

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 9 932

aprilita 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:01

To console her by making love to her ;)

ParkersGirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:00

LMAO!

Comments

ash0415 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 6:32

Lmfao

TudorPangal 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:46

Dump her in the name of Science!!!

ArcaneEchoXIII 11

Tuesday 4 October 2011 9:41

This is part of why I don't date Christians. Or religious people in general if avoidable.

heralynn1011 0

Friday 4 November 2011 15:52

It was gods wishes right ;) lol

whosurdaddy123 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 11:29

Tell the bitch to shut up and get her christian ass out of ur house, I break it off with girls as soon as I found out they have a purity ring lol,

NinjaNinja2211 1

Thursday 8 December 2011 3:36

...This is why I'm not religious...

ering17 7

Sunday 22 January 2012 8:29

love conquers all?

anthony99 14

Saturday 8 December 2012 7:42

Congrats, you're dating Tim Tebow's twin sister

lexiebeane 9

Monday 31 December 2012 20:38

Maybe you shouldn't be so damn tempting. Lmao

kawaiisakura 12

Monday 14 January 2013 22:54

I have to say YDI. You should've asked y the change in mind and simply respected the previous wish.

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 9

Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 866

You deserved it 2 383

The Top

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 5 627

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 317

You deserved it 3 038

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I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 695

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 273

You deserved it 3 360

Today, a large number of people at my office don't realize that if the door to a stall is locked, it's occupied. While I can somewhat deal with people needlessly asking if it's occupied, what I can't deal with is someone looking over the stall to check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 785

You deserved it 240

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 9 160

Same thing different taste

Jesus wept

Like a virgin

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