Intimacy: Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought...

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 90 484

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Same thing different taste

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 254

You deserved it 20 795

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 446

You deserved it 3 062

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 016

You deserved it 8 977

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 240

You deserved it 5 058

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 261

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

By andifalls - 24/01/2011 05:11

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 515

You deserved it 3 531

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 570

You deserved it 2 727

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 972

You can't hurry love

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 334

You deserved it 4 063

SomethingWitty 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:55

"...then Grandma asked to join. FML"

LyuboLove 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:56

i still wonder why people don't take more precautions when there's a possibility of someone being around who could potentially walk in on you... you definitely 100% deserved that one

Comments

betterthanthou 0

Friday 17 April 2009 9:24

lol at #127. I know when I act holier-than-thou, it is because I am. I am better than you. You will have to learn to deal with it. The reason you get mad when people like me act like we are better than you is because you realize we are right and you are wrong. It must suck to know that you are living a life of gross perversions. Eww.

brizzibri217 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 6:00

Holy Shit!!!! life with grandma will never be the same

ebbasaur 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 5:27

yea, I'm with #3. then what happened? haha.

wowfmlife 0

Monday 27 April 2009 1:50

HAHAHAHA wow! people are sooo stupid! i was the #1 comment and i said "i guess you should have listened to grandma" haha i love how idiotic our world is...

nsforever138 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 18:52

threesome?

ifuckenhateyou 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 10:28

omg that's fuckn classic!!! omg how funny!!!! sucks for your ass haha jay kay

cmillertime7 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 1:06

You know, her room might not HAVE a lock. Mine doesn't.

powa2metal 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 7:03

pics or it nevar happened

katie_bby 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:30

AHAHAHAHAH! ROFLMFAO!

nofeckingfair 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 18:04

she thought she was safe, and a lot of houses don't have doors with locks on them or ones that work. cut her some slack, VERY embarrassing position and not really her fault... FHL