Intimacy: Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and...

By Allenburg - 18/01/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 7 534

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You what?

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 04:00 - Venezuela - Caracas

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 219

Nice try

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 21:00 - Australia

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 176

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 015

You deserved it 12 625

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 024

You deserved it 6 705

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 863

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 576

By hannamacintosh - 07/07/2016 18:37 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 243

You deserved it 997

By boom - 17/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 3 785

By ifaisal - 26/02/2010 03:05 - Qatar

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 384

You deserved it 3 595

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 334

You deserved it 21 333

instantaction 0

Friday 22 July 2011 16:17

Psssh, you are #2...

runmymouth 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 23:39

That's kind of offensive, you calling the guy a freak. I dunno, maybe he thought you'd be into it and wanted to surprise you- some people like that, after all, so he was KIND of taking a chance with you. You could've just told him you're not into that kind of thing.

Comments

Amydoll 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:20

Hey, I would just have gone with it. Agree with #2.

instantaction 0

Friday 22 July 2011 16:17

Psssh, you are #2...

blah_blah_shity 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 9:46

creepy

Finnboghi 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 2:10

I agree with everyone but #2 and #6. That was a really cruel thing to say.

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 13:35

seeing as he seemed to do this without talking to you about it (assuming the getup was sexual), he sucks. Unless it was just an outfit, in which case I don't know what to think but I'd find it weird.

mrstomkaulitz 0

Friday 18 June 2010 1:53

hey... maybe he likes slipknot...

runmymouth 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 23:39

jorma_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 18:06

You got a bargain. Some of us have paid a lot more for such knowledge.

onions 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 8:16

i agree, thats kinda hot.

aew002 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 3:00

Any guy who gets that kinky right off the bat is a freak. You need to know someone is into that before you just whip it out of your bag of tricks. Haha