Miscellaneous: Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had...

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 3 297

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 1 436

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 206

By kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 5 600

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 2 013

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 20:27 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 6 435

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 5 234

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 28 867

Hazardous waste

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 165

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

kikiface 1

Wednesday 24 February 2010 9:32

fyl, but you're lucky to have a husband that helps around the house

thoughtcrimeno1 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 9:26

did you know that in soviet Russia toilet flushes you?

Comments

zsxwrsd 7

Wednesday 24 February 2010 19:45

Try using a toilet with bleach in it

unpossible 26

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:42

They probably *should* share the chores, but the OP used the term 'actually' first; so, I am assuming they don't share them very equitably.

darienlake 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:49

yeah but now i bet you have a hot ass OHHH BAM!!!!!! :)

oneforme 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:51

just take a humongous shit in the toilet then turn the water off and go get your husband and tell him the toilet is broken leaving ur huge turd in there for him to see and smell

chadwick110480 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:20

bet it's the last time he will have to clean the bathrooms. job well done.

Jasmine09 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 7:57

wow.... sry to hear that

Sekococo 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 8:54

tony the tiger ---> "There Greaaat"

JS000 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 11:49

Why use a cleaner that would ever burn you? Toilet seats are cleaner than kitchen sinks. Soap and water for regular jobs and baking soda and vinegar for tough jobs is good enough for people who don't have AIDS.