Love: Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said...

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 9 980

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 934

You deserved it 6 529

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 141

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 606

You deserved it 5 196

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 120

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 353

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 7 002

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 590

You deserved it 4 541

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 700

You deserved it 7 927

By Husband - 22/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Washington

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 335

You deserved it 1 532

YourDone6 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:47

come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?

ahhhFYL 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:56

maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 17 June 2011 2:50

Next month ask him to do the same with your bloody tampon.

ijnek 3

Friday 17 June 2011 3:38

hahahahahHahahahHhHhHahahahahahaha k thats enou... hahahahahahahahaha

niyah4sho 11

Friday 17 June 2011 4:53

the kind of wife that doesn't wanna see turd.....

termsofbroken 0

Friday 17 June 2011 5:01

and you replied with..?

seanylawls 0

Friday 17 June 2011 5:30

you should have done it. It probably was huge!

unrose 1

Friday 17 June 2011 5:40

lol'd so hard.

sullifreshh 0

Friday 17 June 2011 6:01

that's hilarious...laugh a little

SirObvious 1

Friday 17 June 2011 6:26

how does he put up with you?

HellOnWheels357 11

Friday 17 June 2011 7:14

this is a fml for your husband...

wigg3r 5

Friday 17 June 2011 7:36

why didn't you go look at it

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 940

You deserved it 7 935

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 3 034

The Top

Today, after finally convincing my wife to let me donate the piles of junk lying around, I was backing out of the driveway with a full load when she ran out going, "Wait, wait!" She wants to go through everything and try to sell it. Back to square fucking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 86

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 265

You deserved it 8 147

Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 492

You deserved it 6 716

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 381

You deserved it 3 104

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 2 096

Today, I attended my school's special invitation-only awards ceremony, relieved that I was getting a much-needed scholarship. I watched all my friends go up and win scholarships. In the end, I only got a certificate for doing well on the PSAT. My whole family showed up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 986

You deserved it 1 987