Love: Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said...

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 9 980

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 934

You deserved it 6 529

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 141

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 606

You deserved it 5 196

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 120

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 353

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 7 002

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 590

You deserved it 4 541

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 700

You deserved it 7 927

By Husband - 22/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Washington

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 335

You deserved it 1 532

YourDone6 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:47

come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?

ahhhFYL 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:56

maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.

Comments

gkilla027 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 17:25

what if he was luring you into the bathroom so you can see a gift (not the shit) but an iPad or something...

andy1500726 19

Thursday 16 June 2011 17:34

WTF what kind of guy is dat

Vaesive 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 17:40

You said no? What kind of wife are you?!

froggyiscool 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 17:59

if she not doing anything, she should go, I mean it is her husband! but if shes at work or somethin he says take a damn break, then nikkka please!

mariahjoomeh 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 18:51

you're a shitty wife.

izzypopcorn1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 19:35

he sounds funny

matildalillyysto 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 19:48

um eww i'd be so mad if my hubby did that that's gross

SandyyBabe_ 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 20:25

Lmfao(:

csmouton 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 20:55

he should have sent it to you via mms lmao.

Rawr_means_love3 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 21:21

Sorry, I have to: Well, that's a crappy situation!

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 940

You deserved it 7 935

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 235

You deserved it 3 653

Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 769

You deserved it 449

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 818

You deserved it 2 731

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 505

You deserved it 29 336

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 3 333

Today, getting ready to go out, I turned on my straightener. After 5 minutes, I start straightening one big strand when I realize I'm smelting plastic into my hair. Turns out I'd left it on a plastic box. Of course, plastic never comes out, so I had to cut it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 214

You deserved it 2 146