Love: Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said... - FML

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 9 980

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 934

You deserved it 6 529

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 141

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 606

You deserved it 5 196

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 120

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 353

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 7 002

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 590

You deserved it 4 541

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 700

You deserved it 7 927

By Husband - 22/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Washington

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 335

You deserved it 1 532

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Top comments

YourDone6 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:47

come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?

ahhhFYL 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:56

maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.

Comments

littlefootpimpin 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:09

I agree with your husband! jeeze, shows how much you love him! what if he shit a razor!?!?! ha.

Magnimus 4

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:10

YDI for marrying a dumbass.

SexKitten18 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:46

you're a very bad wife. :)

Crazy4Christ 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 23:12

well, inserted him. go see it

wsquah 4

Thursday 16 June 2011 23:16

yeah what kind of wife ARE YOU!?

tbone666 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 23:34

well!!! what kind are you!!???

soulfulemo 0

Friday 17 June 2011 0:00

how dare you say no for such a generous offering

BitchyMcBitch 1

Friday 17 June 2011 0:13

YDI for not going to see his turd.

Rjwiuff 0

Friday 17 June 2011 0:29

yea ... what kinda wife are you ?? when a man ask you to see his turd .... you go see his turd ..... and then you should reward him for the size of it .. big turd = big reward etc... this is a really important thing in a mans life !

KLern 0

Friday 17 June 2011 1:15

hahaha that's hilarious... what a clown

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 724

You deserved it 7 993

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 2 613

The Top

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 151

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 726

You deserved it 6 479

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 695

You deserved it 2 449

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 4 195

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 280

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 36 247