Transportation: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through...

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 3 858

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Same thing different taste

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 416

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 902

By Anonymous - 11/04/2014 20:07 - Switzerland

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 138

You deserved it 3 849

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 363

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 61 972

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 466

It's all too much

By dreams2383 - 11/11/2022 11:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 103

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 183

By Karaline45 - 15/12/2018 05:00

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 370

By Timebaseboy - 21/10/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 2 078

Beckleyy 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 22:37

What a ******* idiot...

grahambertus 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 22:39

What a flocking idiot

Comments

HaniahAhmad 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:13

FYL. But your dumb ass husband deserves it.

agm77 9

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:15

Make the birds pay for it. They're the ones that broke it!

ProhibitionRose 14

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:16

37- what do you suggest they pay with? Feathers? Eggs?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:28

Ah, the old formulaic "____ thought it would be funny to ____" FML. Always an instant YDI, dumbass.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:10

...for the husband, that is. *facepalm*

perdix 29

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:41

I don't see why you have to pay for it. You ought to slip one of those paralyzing anesthetics in his food, and when he's become completely immobile, grab his head between your thighs and fart in his mouth.

False_Stupidity 41

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:09

Damn good idea, and nice reference to another FML :)

pagullarka 9

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:45

I hope he feels guilty for hitting those birds

paradiseisland01 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:46

Tell him he should pay for the car! And then when it does , drop him for being a prick , for breaking your car

SirSquishyPants 1

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:47

What are you? 14, Jesus, divorce him because he hit some birds in her car? I hope to god you don't get married, or reproduce you ******* idiot.

Cenobyte 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 7:43

No, SirSquishyPants, what are you? I suppose you also think that it was a funny prank to play on those poor birds. I guess killing animals for fun is your thing too, right. Well, you may not realize it, but cruelty to animals Is Not Funny. And a person who would do that would would be just as spiteful to a spouse or child. I would divorce him immediately. Actually I would never marry someone like that.

agm77 9

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:47

If that's what they want. I was being sarcastic.

ChrisTheCalm 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:10

I think these FMLs are fake... C'mon.. They always post things about their spouse doing something really retarded, and it starts by "today, my husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend/fiancé thought it would be funny...." and the things they do?? They do incredibly stupid things that nobody with a functioning brain would do. Maybe they had autism or something cuz no way a normal human being would do things including this. And read other FML's that start like that and think if whatever the idiot did, can it be possible. Btw the answer is no.