Love: Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning,...

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 509

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 418

You deserved it 34 831

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 581

You deserved it 7 518

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 559

You deserved it 5 915

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 277

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 812

You deserved it 10 437

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 132

Jealous much?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to say it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 370

You deserved it 5 787

Working from home rules!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 02:01

Today, my husband said a cheery, "Hi!" to me after 4 hours of nonstop Zoom calls. I spun around happily and greeted him back. Turns out he just joined another Zoom call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 137

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

sarah6786 14

Tuesday 19 March 2013 1:38

Next time when you wake up roll over and say "good morning sexy" to your vibrator.

chelsearenaeee 16

Tuesday 19 March 2013 1:39

Turtles can be pretty cute.

Comments

FrostyKittens 24

Tuesday 19 March 2013 16:03

I'd do the same

Brandee3danielle 1

Tuesday 19 March 2013 16:26

Mine does that to our dog all the time... on my birthday he rolled over gave me a little kiss then hugged the dog and said "you're my everything".... thanks babe haha

tskat2 3

Tuesday 19 March 2013 18:45

I like turtles

CrazyManNo9 29

Tuesday 19 March 2013 18:51

I tell my wife of 35 years, "Good Morning Beautiful" every day. When I talk to her, her name is "Beautiful". My daughter, 29 and pregnant with my first grandson, I call "Pretty Girl". I call her "Pretty Girl" every time I talk to her. I love my wife and my daughter and my son. I wish all of you who read this the same love.