Kids: Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen... - FML

By burn - 01/08/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 972

You deserved it 3 503

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 136

You deserved it 7 968

Hot lava

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 15:00

Today, after not having coffee for ages, I finally remembered why I stopped drinking it. I literally just shit my pants, and I’m about to start a ten-hour day with 27 fifth graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 281

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

By KitKat20 - 18/10/2016 13:05 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 1 544

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 157

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 032

By eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 300

You deserved it 9 750

The struggle is real

By WiredUp - 21/08/2020 13:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 183

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 164

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Just let it all out during the meeting. They like it when people express themselves.

mrfunbun01 1

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Put lax in their food next time you make them dinner.

Comments

Flags4life 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:45

takepepto

docscientist 9

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:10

They just got confused with relaxatives.

Ikshi 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:30

Three step solution. 1: take a long runny shit. 2: take a stool hardener. 3: pray to god!

TheTwistedOtaku 16

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:11

It's the thought that counts. :)

Jellybeanastrid 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:10

At least it wasnt visine...

aPieceOfFruit 16

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:14

that sucks. you must be sh!tting yourself :D

kakashigf123 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:18

I'm srry hunny but u need 2 beat the living hell out of ur kids cause that shit ain't right I don't give a **** if that doesnt sound right they need an asswoopin to set them straight

BlueBug94 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:49

You seem angry.

moninbg 8

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:28

Pranks can be bad, but what really sucks is when people do bad things, all the while meaning well...

moninbg 8

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:30

Pranks can be nasty, but what really sucks is when people do bad things, while meaning well ... It makes it so much harder to get properly mad at them

sandmancometh 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 10:50

Uhhh not any more...

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Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

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You deserved it 61 102

The Top

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You deserved it 5 201

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I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 212

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I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 823

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 241

You deserved it 3 868

Today, barely 24 hours after we decided that yes, we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, I caught my “boyfriend” with his cock down my cousin's throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 188