Kids: Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played...

By Cody - 19/07/2010 13:59 - United States

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 800

You deserved it 8 049

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anon - 08/04/2016 22:28 - United States - Omaha

Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 247

You deserved it 1 973

Out of the mouth of babes...

By DEE - 26/07/2018 15:00

Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 776

You deserved it 479

Restrictions

By TheHam - 05/09/2019 18:00 - Sweden

Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 630

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 4 176

Keeping up appearances

By vanessax - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Crown Point

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 23 437

Classic Mom moment

By me - 28/06/2013 15:51 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 625

You deserved it 4 049

By Fatty1970 - 23/05/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 19 831

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 10 509

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 11 128

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 1 236

The_MMH 0

Monday 19 July 2010 19:05

Then loose some weight. Dó it for your kids.

CallMeHush 0

Monday 19 July 2010 19:05

awwwww, that is so cute. No more twinkees for you for a while tubby.

Comments

Tanner13M 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 15:00

And what does that tell you?

Rusalka 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:04

Lol. Your kids are priceless!

SapphireSympathy 7

Wednesday 21 July 2010 3:16

first haha. fyl. and i understand about weight issues... up and down up and down for meh. and maybe u should thank ur kids for caring and trying help u out. but ur kids are priceless, the way they told u. lmao.

Whatthephoto 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 8:10

I would've been like, "

ltlgrmln 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 8:09

Roll with it. Will it make you happy?

ltlgrmln 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 8:09

Roll with it. Will it make you happy?

emo_devon 11

Saturday 31 July 2010 1:58

aw man..............well, those kids sound hilarious XD then again, it sucks that they said that, and I'm sure you aren't fat, I've been called fat quite a lot, still am, even though I'm not fat.