Kids: Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a...

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 3 273

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Same thing different taste

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 824

You deserved it 414

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 3 625

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 526

You deserved it 64 338

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 477

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

By utensils123 - 09/02/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 350

You deserved it 2 319

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

By ilikeirishducks - 19/06/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 801

You deserved it 21 100

Business is business

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 260

AcidLacedBong 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

Send him to Americas got talent!!

doctor_awesome 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

ass straws. so you can use your mouth for more important things.

Comments

mauiboy808_fml 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:30

Could you explain how?

Wheredidgrungego 12

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:32

Arizona huh? Never knew there was inbreeding there. What they don't tell you is that OP's brother also has webbed feet and a third arm.

MaCOOLiT 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:33

Awww, he's going to make some guys happy when he grows up!

mstarxo23 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:47

That takes true talent. You should be proud of him! It's like getting a 13 year old Jewish boys balls cut off at his bar mitzvah.

Tyger44 1

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:56

Well wonder how he poops!!!

FarSide 22

Wednesday 17 August 2011 4:21

sort of watery would be my guess.

suckM1KEHAWK 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:02

Soon he's going to be suck dicks up his asshole. Poor kid

Mutantking 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:10

Uhh. Screw you. Love, all the gays.

The_Weirdo 10

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:04

I hear a **** star in the making.

thefriendlyc 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:04

Meh it's not that hard

MrleClochard 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:14

Yeah, let him have the pleasure of achieving something and creating an amazing anecdote!

catnip1997 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:15

lol dumb hillbillys

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The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 8 250

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 43

The Top

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 615

You deserved it 88 914

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 3 238

Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 287

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 139

Today, my little brother got a tattoo honoring our mom who abused us. The only reason I stayed was to protect him. I feel like I wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 96

Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 489

You deserved it 500

Same thing different taste

Pissed

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

Business is business

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