Animals: Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming,...

Haha the illustration to this is hilarious! At first I thought the picture was of someone having a vacuum stuck to their eye.. Had to glance at it a second time and read the FML to clear up the confusion lol

carbuncle776 12

Saturday 10 May 2014 18:15

Poor thing

yesnid 2

Sunday 11 May 2014 3:35

honestly call the police and report her. A little time with the justice system will scare her and show She can't get away with killing animals.

thinmintgal 21

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:14

dude, its a HAMSTER! plus I bet the person is only a little child! calm the **** down!

mn204 13

Tuesday 13 May 2014 20:43

Over reacting much ??

BreathingClover 19

Sunday 11 May 2014 5:14

what the?!?!? The dust is moving!!!

amyfox1718 12

Sunday 11 May 2014 6:52

That must suck! pun intended

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Sunday 11 May 2014 12:57

I'm sorry for your loss.

Demoniq 25

Monday 12 May 2014 15:13

I don't know what prospect is worse; an old school bin vacuum or the new water kind :| Sorry, OP!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

The Top

Today, I thought I knew what sexual frustration was in my teens, but that was nothing compared to a (due to circumstances, but still) sexless married life, in a shitty economy. I'm so tense, I could tear down a wall with my bare hands right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 152

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 323

You deserved it 4 867

Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 263

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 458

You deserved it 11 869

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 758

You deserved it 5 227

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 309

You deserved it 3 092