Miscellaneous: Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet....

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 289

You deserved it 2 868

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Same thing different taste

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 413

You deserved it 1 292

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 41 956

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 750

You deserved it 5 970

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 455

You deserved it 4 533

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 193

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/03/2020 08:09

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 128

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 71 092

LET ME OUT

By jynxisadouchebag - 27/02/2015 00:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 5 854

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 2 395

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 631

You deserved it 48 170

YayFlameWarz 9

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:08

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cause they vacuuming e'erybody out here.

KilteDKilleR 7

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:57

Motherly love.

Comments

JojoChuo 8

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:10

Atleast she has quick reflexes... Incase it was a real attacker.

ifeelya 5

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:12

quite a dumb blonde mother i suppose

whyme203 15

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:16

Your mom sounds very brave indeed.

Snookie85 19

Sunday 25 September 2011 4:42

Lol

saIty 17

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:18

How do you know she didn't go to the garage to get her shotgun. Now that would be one bad ass mama.

WickedClownMCL 1

Saturday 11 February 2012 9:35

Lol cause shes screaming her lungs off. More likely the case of her getting into a car and taking off. But yea that would be one badass momma!

every1luvsboners 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:22

It's pretty hard to come out of the closet when there's a vacuum in there to keep you company. Hopefully is was a Dyson, them things can suck a bowling ball through a water hose.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:23

Haunted vacuum huh? Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

WCARlover 34

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:24

Those vacuum cleaners are scary things :o

xlord 27

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:30

It could've been that ****** up guy from Narnia

jbaby7892 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:42

Your mother is either African American or grew up in the hood... She knows when to get the hell out of there! Lol

every1luvsboners 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:44

Ummmmmm........What? Explain, pls.

Btreasure 8

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:47

I would've run too. Especially if you told FML I let the vacuum attack you. Next thing I know you'd be calling CPS. I'm joking and I'm not big on kids anyways haha