Health: Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she...

By emsbuffalo - 04/01/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 226

You deserved it 3 133

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Same thing different taste

By RectalSteve - 10/09/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 564

You deserved it 286

By Disturbed son - 16/09/2018 01:30

Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 089

You deserved it 202

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 966

You deserved it 5 241

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 255

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 109

By btchzloveit - 29/09/2011 12:27 - United States

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 266

You deserved it 2 414

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 047

You deserved it 2 662

Hard shoulder

By me. - 11/07/2016 03:00 - United States - Norman

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 762

You deserved it 742

It hurts

By postop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 2 115

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 406

You deserved it 147 125

perdix 29

Wednesday 4 January 2012 11:59

Was she bending over and spreading her ass-cheeks open?

bbedlock_fml 7

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:02

Want to see my colon? :

Comments

Tektite 14

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:20

Think of happy thoughts.. That's the only way to cure the horrible memory of seeing that!

DontForgetMe4 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:23

She should sell it online. I heard people can have a colon fetish.. Make a fortune.

aissie 2

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:26

Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

MandyMeow_fml 18

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:27

Shit happens..

astralvagan 20

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:28

I can't imagine how you're ever gonna rinse that from your mind. I don't think there's enough anal sex **** to make up for it

XxHoPPoxX 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:30

Sik invite

Torva_fml 16

Wednesday 4 January 2012 21:51

Just letting you know that you spelled you're wrong, in your profile. Fail insult, I'm proud to be gay.

XxHoPPoxX 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 22:46

Cool story bro

t765234 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:38

Was it goatse?

perdix 29

Wednesday 4 January 2012 15:51

That's "The View" that is only slightly worse than the one with Whoopi Goldberg.

paschale 7

Wednesday 4 January 2012 12:54

Wonder what part of your poor mother's body was burning after a colonoscopy?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 5 January 2012 16:53

The colonoscopy doesn't hurt- its the prep that kills you. 1 gallon of laxatives. Go lightly is a cruel misnomer.

thiscrazything 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 13:43

Poor you. Should have run away screaming.

Enoth 6

Wednesday 4 January 2012 13:47

Your mom is a quirky person!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 746

You deserved it 56 004

Today, my wife has gotten into the habit of commenting on how much more attractive men in Latin soap operas are than me. When I suggested that an older character on the show looked like her mom, she started crying, and yelling about how hard the actress's life has been. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 103

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 979

You deserved it 3 881

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report, I found out that instead of saying, "Thank you" I'd said, "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting a $150 bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 012

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 189

You deserved it 6 263

Same thing different taste

A mother's love…

Hard shoulder

It hurts

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