Intimacy: Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift,...

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 18:39 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 897

You deserved it 5 039

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Same thing different taste

By DanniRae - 13/03/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 328

You deserved it 70 722

By Anonymous - 12/07/2019 20:00

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 1 008

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 177

You deserved it 575

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 3 720

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 194

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 917

You deserved it 58 638

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 27/01/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 3 738

By Anon. - 28/03/2009 08:07 - United States

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 740

You deserved it 14 600

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 3 427

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 903

You deserved it 4 898

cuppycakeslove 20

Monday 24 June 2013 23:13

Both!

grahmagog 14

Monday 24 June 2013 23:17

One little bead, two little beads...and this make three, how many beads can she fit inside she, four little beads, five little beads and the last one is six, tonight im sure she'll get her fix, slide them in, big one first, go on beads...do your worst, and when she begins to scream and shout...grab the string and pull em out

Comments

WhiteCrimson 23

Tuesday 25 June 2013 0:30

Oh and please no anal beads for men, that just aint right!

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 25 June 2013 0:47

So... gay men don't get this stuff? Isn't that discrimination?

CharresBarkrey 15

Tuesday 25 June 2013 2:34

They were made for men... Men get more pleasure out of anal than women because of their prostates.

LyraAlluse 25

Tuesday 25 June 2013 0:55

I just keep getting mental images of the toys getting stuck in very uncomfortable places. Let's just say I've seen all sorts of sex related emergencies in the hospital and sex toys usually are the top reasons people have them.