Miscellaneous: Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick....

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 385

You deserved it 3 543

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Same thing different taste

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 94 766

By angel grace - 15/02/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 178

You deserved it 260

By madgf - 30/01/2010 20:55 - France

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 375

You deserved it 38 452

You're next

By Anonymous - 08/01/2024 01:00 - United States - West Valley City

Today, after I sent my daughter to her best friend's house for a week, who lives three hours away, her friend's mom got really sick half way through. My daughter came home early because the mom was too sick. Now my daughter isn't feeling well and I just found the mom has the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 118

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom tried to force me to stay home from work to babysit my sister and her “boyfriend”. I snuck out and went to work anyway, because I hate being around them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 143

Welcome home!

By Still Waiting - 16/08/2016 18:54 - United States - Wenatchee

Today, I had an appointment. After 2 hours of waiting in the sun, my mom finally picked me up and lectured me on how irresponsible my dad was for not communicating with her. Not 5 minutes after I got home, my dad showed up and gave me the same exact lecture about my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 882

You deserved it 1 011

Unloved

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 08:03

Today, my dad lied and said he was busy working, all because he didn't want to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 144

Arbitrary snooze button

By Thanks, Mom - 01/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had three days off work. My mom woke me up for work on all three of those days, despite my repeatedly asking her not to. When I actually had to go to work this morning, she didn't wake me up. At least I wasn't late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 144

By GuitarNerd - 23/01/2017 22:41 - United States - Denver

Today, my mom told me that I would get to leave school halfway through the day. What she didn't tell me was that the reason I was missing school was to get 2 teeth pulled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 720

You deserved it 743

Seize the day

By Nick - 06/08/2013 14:44 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 3 589

Zen_Mei 17

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:36

I think you just found out why he never wants you to skip school

LunaKitsune 19

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:34

I'm so sorry :( did you tell you're mom?

Comments

CougeeSwagg 19

Friday 22 May 2015 15:58

Now you know why.

knightmareengage 16

Friday 10 July 2015 2:11

This dad, is what we call..LEVERAGE... ?

daemonsparta 16

Sunday 2 August 2015 19:23

now you know why he's so adamant about it. ... you also have dirt on him for life unless you out him right away

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 8 December 2015 6:07

Now you know why. Tell your mom.

Kamoii 8

Wednesday 3 August 2016 17:14

i'd blackmail my dad so fast

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The Top

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 3 517

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 285

You deserved it 4 376

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 444

You deserved it 4 729

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 357

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 621

You deserved it 7 523

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 054

You deserved it 5 128