Drunk, Cops and Work: Book him!

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 3 517

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Same thing different taste

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 9 444

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 136

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 3 356

By notpayedenoughforthisshit - 21/07/2014 21:15 - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 3 434

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 807

You deserved it 2 637

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 787

You deserved it 2 816

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

kristir9426 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:05

that is awful! people are crazy.

Tikwichka 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 23:47

55, it is the British spelling. Surely 'God Save The Queen' gave you a hint OP is not American? You must know by now that British and American English have different spelling for many words, no?

Comments

kristir9426 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:05

that is awful! people are crazy.

oakleyguy 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:24

You sound like a cop just hope you had fun

ChubEchaser 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 21:03

sounds like a mall cop. he leads you to believe he is a cop by leaving out all the details, typical of a rent-a-cop.

MrsxBillxKaulitz 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 21:48

...horrible grammar.

cantfightfate 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 21:52

Dude **** the photo booth guys life. sure, you have to pull the guy out and arrest him ..or whatever, call a real cop. but at least you don't have to clean the shit up when it's all over.

MrFerret 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 22:42

pepper spray will take care of him

lm27 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 22:58

you spelled diarrhea wrong....just fyi

depressedgamer 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 23:01

learn to grammar.

Tikwichka 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 23:47

55, it is the British spelling. Surely 'God Save The Queen' gave you a hint OP is not American? You must know by now that British and American English have different spelling for many words, no?

lilerin 2

Friday 15 October 2010 0:58

Mall cop or real cop, it's still his job to remove a man who is shit faced, and ******** in a photo booth, while shouting "God Save the Queen". **** his life.

illegalnative 0

Friday 15 October 2010 1:33

dear grammar nazi's, there is no point in telling someone they misspelled a word, if they truly cared they would have fixed it....kay thanks bye -enjoy shoving people in ovens :l-

eternalsunlight 5

Friday 15 October 2010 2:15

Wasn't the guy wearing any pants??

aaaahh 0

Friday 15 October 2010 5:50

cool story.

thejacl 0

Friday 15 October 2010 13:08

could have used a vampire...

rougecatterpilla 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:06

lol save her save the queen

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:11

That's some crazy shit, mate.

zafeer 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 20:33

crayyonz 0

Friday 15 October 2010 22:29

it's bot shit it's melted poop

MAGNAVOX 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:13

You have a shitty job.

jordyn_93 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:53

haha apperently it's literaly shitty.

guidettebby 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 22:43

lmao. every time I look at a post I always laugh at your comments.

pimplayer 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:18

LOL funny shit

Gabi2507 2

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:20

lmao oh man.. i feel bad but it's too much of a funny scene that ive created in my head to not laugh out loud

missrawrzy 0

Friday 15 October 2010 2:16

haha ur comment nd profile pic r both wins!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:23

Returning home to a nice warm snugly is doing something about it. You could always sing the "God save the queen" song (What is the title of the UK anthem? I know it has the same music as the US anthem).

ElMundio87 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:34

*assplodes*

xFaust_fml 12

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:41

I wish I could say something funny right now, but it just... holy molly...

DocBastard 38

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:49

Red...you just made me sad. "God Save the Queen" is the British national anthem. The music was shamelessly "borrowed" by the US for "Our Country 'Tis of Thee." The music for the US national anthem was originally a British drinking song called The Anacreontic Song which was also, ahem, borrowed.