Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store.... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

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Same thing different taste

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 5 147

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 2 070

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 47 765

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 122

By dude, where's my balls? :( - 22/12/2012 20:25 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 500

You deserved it 3 407

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 3 014

Thieves like us

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 04:00

Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 120

Scammers gonna scam

By sarahwittman - 13/06/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 353

You deserved it 4 905

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 762

You deserved it 3 356

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Monday 25 July 2011 8:36

Your mom is awesome.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Monday 25 July 2011 8:37

gotta pinch them pennies

Comments

chattysoul890 18

Monday 25 July 2011 19:38

Damn what a cheap mom

tateh22 1

Monday 25 July 2011 19:40

Better than the $.99 cent store! haha

herestommy 1

Monday 25 July 2011 20:03

wow

axel532 3

Monday 25 July 2011 20:06

wow I haven't heard this one

Orual42 5

Monday 25 July 2011 20:41

I work at a (very busy) Dollar General in Texas and we lose something like $22,000 a MONTH to shoplifting and damaged merchandise (granted, we sell a lot of things that cost much more than a dollar). Kids (and moms!)...it adds up, and someone has to pay.

maddie2015 0

Monday 25 July 2011 22:09

haha! that hilarious!!

sexybabe198 0

Monday 25 July 2011 22:17

hahaha cheapscat!

j_cat187 19

Monday 25 July 2011 23:16

that's the most getto thing you could do

ac2_fml 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:30

haha

tt_twin_girl 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 2:09

not her fault that stuff is cheap

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 270

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 530

The Top

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 5 351

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 342

You deserved it 2 607

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 631

You deserved it 278

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 128

Today, I got scammed of 16k by a car dealer. I went to the place, paid for the car, and paid to have it transported to my address. The car should've been delivered, the dealer vanished either way with the car. The police and bank can’t do much, and I lost my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 173

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 035