Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store.... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

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Same thing different taste

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 5 147

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 2 070

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 47 765

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 122

By dude, where's my balls? :( - 22/12/2012 20:25 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 500

You deserved it 3 407

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 3 014

Thieves like us

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 04:00

Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 120

Scammers gonna scam

By sarahwittman - 13/06/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 353

You deserved it 4 905

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 762

You deserved it 3 356

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Monday 25 July 2011 8:36

Your mom is awesome.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Monday 25 July 2011 8:37

gotta pinch them pennies

Comments

Legendslayer222 26

Monday 25 July 2011 16:04

It's only the dollar store now, because you're in training. Your mom will move you onto bigger projects until you are ready to rob banks with her. Have fun!

KarWitz 0

Monday 25 July 2011 16:21

haha . Sounds like my aunt. LOLJK.

KarWitz 0

Monday 25 July 2011 16:21

haha . Sounds like my aunt. LOLJK.

jamieexo 2

Monday 25 July 2011 16:40

Lovin your mom right now

lopezk 0

Monday 25 July 2011 17:43

lmao! i love the dollar store hahah

kaylapple 1

Monday 25 July 2011 18:08

damn shes cheap.

shelby_sevenfold 0

Monday 25 July 2011 18:22

Five finger discount ftw!

Ugi 26

Monday 25 July 2011 18:59

No. No. Your mother's strategy is all wrong! To make any money from crime you need to work your way up into a senior and trusted position first and then embezzle the hell out of them. No good getting a record now or they'll be watching you!

dcdelice 1

Monday 25 July 2011 19:01

lol really tho

crw817 3

Monday 25 July 2011 19:30

maybe you should realize the value of money

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