Intimacy: Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 401

You deserved it 6 774

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Same thing different taste

By ToiletTroubles - 03/07/2013 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 3 131

Crockery story

By WasteOfOxygen08 - 23/06/2019 04:34

Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 451

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 461

Dirty talk

By Noname - 02/01/2009 03:04 - Canada

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 523

You deserved it 38 573

By kira - 02/10/2012 10:29 - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 639

You deserved it 7 910

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 7 657

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 3 688

Insane parents

By mermyth - 28/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 130

I am hungry

By Hungry - 23/12/2019 01:00

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 3 162

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

that1guyyy 12

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:42

is that the new name for penis juice now?

BoredUnicorn 6

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:41

Nasty

Comments

xShannonxSammyx 7

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:20

Spludge... man, FML is teaching me all these great new terms!

brittber 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 22:11

take my advice u should really delete this app..if ur learning things from it

Plasmaxyz 5

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:21

You sleep in your own "spludge"? Cmon man, use a tissue or at least a sock.

ramboturtle 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:50

Ha ur right

bjs1976 4

Thursday 18 August 2011 11:20

Ahhh... Nothing like a sock...

Lovesglee 3

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:24

Thats a pretty good mom u got there...shes not weird at all...ewwww...

TheIFizzyHammerz 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:25

Are you people serious? You have NEVER heard of spludge? Wow where have you been. God damn, Really?

rjames0621 3

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:30

Shoulda done it somewhere else...

Denikk 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:33

Haha! "Spludge"...

Minikriz 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:36

**** **** ****..

ramboturtle 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:48

I'm horny x)

astarazhna 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 21:33

lol ok

stroudie94 9

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:49

Someone needs to use napkins!

RodStar 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 10:04

What a cool word...Spludge....

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 109

You deserved it 2 404

Today, my friends yet again told me to hop on Tinder and other dating sites, saying how easy it is to match up, and I keep telling them I will soon. In reality, I've been on them for weeks, without a match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 867

You deserved it 316

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side containing the spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 145

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 2 556

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 407

You deserved it 6 754

Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 373