Intimacy: Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 400

You deserved it 6 774

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ToiletTroubles - 03/07/2013 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 3 131

Crockery story

By WasteOfOxygen08 - 23/06/2019 04:34

Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 451

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 461

Dirty talk

By Noname - 02/01/2009 03:04 - Canada

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 523

You deserved it 38 573

By kira - 02/10/2012 10:29 - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 639

You deserved it 7 910

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 7 657

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 452

You deserved it 3 688

Insane parents

By mermyth - 28/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 130

I am hungry

By Hungry - 23/12/2019 01:00

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 3 161

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

that1guyyy 12

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:42

is that the new name for penis juice now?

BoredUnicorn 6

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:41

Nasty

Comments

VenuzzRenee 4

Friday 19 August 2011 1:45

Spludge?

bubo_fml 10

Friday 19 August 2011 1:55

If that's the case, let her clean your "dirty" sock pile!

Tkao96 0

Friday 19 August 2011 2:48

LMAO! 1 Mom, 0 OP.

sgtbobbyboy 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:47

I've hear a lot of moms day a lot of thing but I think that jst about topps it off!!

Fortitudine 3

Friday 19 August 2011 7:26

Moms say the darndest things

dragonsspitfire 0

Friday 19 August 2011 7:47

That's attractive O_O

xiperugby 0

Friday 19 August 2011 8:32

that's why ya use tissues or a girls va jay jay

penguinazul 13

Friday 19 August 2011 15:25

This happened to me once; I was masturbating in my bedroom one night before I went to sleep, and I was so tired afterward that I just wrapped my toys up in a towel and put them beside my bed, with intentions of cleaning them and such when I got up. Well, the next morning, my mother comes in and decides that is a good time for her to gather up the towels in my room. I told her I would do it, but she INSISTED. Naturally, when she grabbed that certain towel, my toys fell out. She just kind of stared at them for a minute and left; fortunately she didn't say anything about it, but I was still mortified. Moral of the story? Make sure you are COMPLETELY inconspicuous when you **********. Clean and put your toys away as soon as your done, and for guys, finish in a kleenex or something; don't just cum all over your sheets. That's just nasty, anyway, lol.