Microwave her cat.

Just tell her, "I know what you mean, my husband said he had to eat the dog's food behind your back when he was growing up so he didn't starve."

You're a chef, but your mom thinks you make food that tastes bad? I don't get it. Maybe she thinks your food is too bland because you cook with plain ol' store-bought meat, and the real tasty stuff is possum, raccoon, skunk, armadillo and other road kill. Any other ideas?

This is what you get when you try to be "nice" and don't accept gifts. She already bought it, just say "Thank you," and accept it.

Whenever she's over, make really awful casseroles in the microwave and serve them to her. Make it up to your kids by taking them out for ice cream after she leaves.

Wow, what a ******* ****, FYL.

in-law's.... wat did u expect?

sounds to me like the bitch in law might just be jealous.

just because you are a chef doesn't mean you can cook for shit

She is jealous.... Who gives a **** what ur mother in law thinks.