Miscellaneous: Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 21:02 - United Kingdom - Broxburn

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 44 995

You deserved it 3 608

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 11:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 739

You deserved it 3 245

By shugberry - 01/09/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my mum on the London Underground. We were standing on the platform, when she suddenly bought up a load of phlegm in her mouth. Instead of trying to find a bin, she just full on spat out the biggest green pile on the floor next to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 154

Overreach

By AccioBucket - 12/02/2021 11:02

Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 101

Genius

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 5 198

Cranberry juice might help

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 16:00

Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 134

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 434

You deserved it 8 670

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 96

Stuck together

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 02:02 - United States - Wynnewood

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 1 133

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 3 982

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 049

You deserved it 3 817

Next

Top comments

Eliseopwns 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:20

Thank god you know better than her.

Aspen_Grace33 27

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:22

Wow that's pretty bad. May as well start her in depends now...

Comments

CoffeeCatsnBacon 5

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:04

Yuck. I've had the flu for a few days now, (just a bit of left over stuffyness now), and even when I was feeling the worst, I couldn't imagine being that lazy. F your life, OP!

stfudonnie 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:34

Your mom keeps it old school, just make sure she has access to t.p.

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:13

Keep calm, Chive on

brianlarkin 7

Saturday 25 January 2014 18:30

Eeeew

cchuckcloninger 5

Saturday 25 January 2014 19:40

The cave she lives in must be getting somewhat nàsty by now?

sanecatlady 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:24

This, among other things, is why people need to get their shots. I read this morning over a dozen people somewhere here in Canada died of the flu, none of them had their shots and most of them had major health problems. It's because of all the stupid misinformation and horror stories that are complete nonsense out there.

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:29

That is gross

jacklyn13 5

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:51

Hysterical!! & gross all at the same time!!

miss_jules 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:28

That is just....no...

rockydify 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:47

You've obviously never had the real flu! Go out and buy her a bedpan. Poor thing. :(

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I agree, your life sucks 2 927

You deserved it 411

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I agree, your life sucks 46 777

You deserved it 4 279