Miscellaneous: Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 21:02 - United Kingdom - Broxburn

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 44 991

You deserved it 3 606

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 11:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 736

You deserved it 3 245

By shugberry - 01/09/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my mum on the London Underground. We were standing on the platform, when she suddenly bought up a load of phlegm in her mouth. Instead of trying to find a bin, she just full on spat out the biggest green pile on the floor next to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 153

Overreach

By AccioBucket - 12/02/2021 11:02

Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 101

Genius

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 585

You deserved it 5 196

Cranberry juice might help

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 16:00

Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 133

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 430

You deserved it 8 669

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 95

Stuck together

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 02:02 - United States - Wynnewood

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 1 132

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 3 982

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 3 817

Next

Top comments

Eliseopwns 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:20

Thank god you know better than her.

Aspen_Grace33 27

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:22

Wow that's pretty bad. May as well start her in depends now...

Comments

Martinez0285 28

Saturday 25 January 2014 9:51

Holy Shit

eggy911 7

Saturday 25 January 2014 10:01

As long as she's the one who cleans it up!

koza 8

Saturday 25 January 2014 10:05

Oh god.

katties 27

Saturday 25 January 2014 10:56

I'm wondering how bad it is... a couple of years back I was so sick with the flu that I was afraid I was going to pee myself in bed because getting up was so tiresome. After that flu I had to take a breathing break after going up one floor using staircases. I needed to sleep after taking dishes. I was really tired for several months after that flu. I suggest you asking your mom how bad she actually feels instead of automatically assuming she's so crazy she like to shit in mugs...

StickyPickles 33

Saturday 25 January 2014 11:07

Epic

pdp_fml 21

Saturday 25 January 2014 11:37

At least get her a camping toilet. It's easier to clean than a jug!

Bloobloke 12

Saturday 25 January 2014 11:38

Why doesn't she just rest upstairs then?

underthesea12 24

Saturday 25 January 2014 11:48

Her house her rules

siggy_mcsigx 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 13:03

Did she tell you she was lazy or was it an emergency? She probably was about to shit in the bed or on the floor instead cuz she couldn't hold it

Bossgirlhana 15

Saturday 25 January 2014 14:07

Well, that's a shitty thing for her to do.

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The Top

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 5 959

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I agree, your life sucks 42 941

You deserved it 7 385

The Top

Today, my roommate said that whoever was doing the dishes was doing it wrong. I've been doing the dishes for weeks. So much for being a clean roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 145

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I agree, your life sucks 51 719

You deserved it 5 864

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I agree, your life sucks 3 683

You deserved it 540

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I agree, your life sucks 34 058

You deserved it 10 005

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I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 86

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 286

You deserved it 11 865