Intimacy: Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She...

By freakedout - 11/04/2014 02:32 - United States - Louisa

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 216

You deserved it 5 695

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By ThinZ - 24/12/2011 00:26 - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 482

You deserved it 3 879

Creeper Alert

By "of fucking course" - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 131

You deserved it 894

Respect

By it’s still cheating! - 05/09/2021 11:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my wife, who’s been a stay at home mom since our kids were born, hasn’t really been out looking for a day job since they’re old enough to be in school full time now. She has however been day-drinking and hooking up with the neighbor's wife. She insists she’s not gay, just experimenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 192

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 921

You deserved it 6 719

Crazy best friend

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 18:00

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 716

You deserved it 740

Surprised indeed

By fredo - 19/03/2013 12:31 - United States - Ames

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 058

You deserved it 24 110

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 400

You deserved it 6 309

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 530

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 063

You deserved it 3 238

So, you guys bangin' or what?

By kiwi2323 - 26/09/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 449

You deserved it 3 367

Wizardo 33

Friday 11 April 2014 14:39

Explain to the kids the dangers of drinking and mind ******* abilities it has, silver linings.

meepmerp 20

Friday 11 April 2014 14:38

Now you know not to invite her

Comments

FranklySpeaking 11

Saturday 12 April 2014 1:09

This is taking desperate housewives to a new level.

miuracross 4

Saturday 12 April 2014 3:07

Well kids, when two women love each other... oops wrong ******* lesson, NEVERMIND I'LL ******* COME BACK LATER!

Nish007 15

Saturday 12 April 2014 3:32

nice

Setareh23 34

Saturday 12 April 2014 4:17

There's a surprisingly large amount of people saying "at least it wasn't the husband." What's with the double-standard? So a woman can go around grabbing boobs without consent of the other and it's cool, but if a man does it we send him to jail? FYL OP, you clearly weren't comfortable with it (especially in front of kids) which means her actions were nothing short of sexual assault. Hopefully when she's sobered up, you guys can talk it over and resolve this without having to do anything too drastic.