Intimacy: Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She...

By freakedout - 11/04/2014 02:32 - United States - Louisa

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 225

You deserved it 5 696

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Same thing different taste

By ThinZ - 24/12/2011 00:26 - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 487

You deserved it 3 882

Creeper Alert

By of fucking course - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 150

You deserved it 897

Respect

By it’s still cheating! - 05/09/2021 11:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my wife, who’s been a stay at home mom since our kids were born, hasn’t really been out looking for a day job since they’re old enough to be in school full time now. She has however been day-drinking and hooking up with the neighbor's wife. She insists she’s not gay, just experimenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 195

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 929

You deserved it 6 720

Crazy best friend

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 18:00

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 726

You deserved it 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 178

Surprised indeed

By fredo - 19/03/2013 12:31 - United States - Ames

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 065

You deserved it 24 116

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 410

You deserved it 6 311

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 069

You deserved it 3 238

So, you guys bangin' or what?

By kiwi2323 - 26/09/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 454

You deserved it 3 367

Wizardo 33

Friday 11 April 2014 14:39

Explain to the kids the dangers of drinking and mind ******* abilities it has, silver linings.

meepmerp 20

Friday 11 April 2014 14:38

Now you know not to invite her

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Friday 11 April 2014 20:04

Make sure she's sober...that's all you can really do

leviheichou 15

Friday 11 April 2014 20:07

I hope your kids were young enough that they didn't understand what was going on...

icepick23 12

Friday 11 April 2014 20:25

Just plan a sex date for when the kids are away. Plenty of horny milfs do this

vikky538 28

Friday 11 April 2014 20:27

tell the kids that there is a "booby" trap .. and leave the house..I prefer running...FYL OP..

grizzlyapollo 1

Friday 11 April 2014 20:45

I am a preschool teacher, and I have noticed with some of my parents, co workers and even bosses that they are not shy and sometimes with children you have to explain to them about adult choices. Good/bad and appropriate/inappropriate. What really bites and is sometimes is awkward is when it is when it is their children... lol

orsombre_fml 11

Friday 11 April 2014 21:05

I feel for you, OP, being grabbed like that must have been appalling. Even if she has feelings for you, this is an assault and I hope she understands it.

squarecircles 13

Friday 11 April 2014 21:18

Looks like your neighbor's got some explainin' to do.

lifesentence 11

Friday 11 April 2014 21:24

you did, right?

TheWimpyTodler 3

Friday 11 April 2014 22:28

You better move out soon!

sammyjo06 14

Saturday 12 April 2014 0:20

Would you be saying that if it were the husband who had come over instead, grabbed her boobs in front of her kids, and asked her if she'd ever had an extramarital affair?