Miscellaneous: Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games....

By ThinZ - 24/12/2011 00:26 - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 486

You deserved it 3 882

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By JJ - 03/10/2015 07:42 - United States - Irwin

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 550

You deserved it 4 477

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 814

By axel519 - 31/12/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 049

You deserved it 3 060

Get out of the way

By SweetDreamsTibi - 10/02/2019 12:00

Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 646

You deserved it 1 565

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 18:00

Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 218

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 111

You deserved it 5 317

By notsofriendly - 06/11/2014 20:15 - United States - Austin

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 799

You deserved it 7 829

By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 936

You deserved it 2 726

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 20:30 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 230

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 693

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:54

Your wife sounds awesome

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:57

"slowly, slowly, he slid in me. Then he passed out. But I kept *******." Yup.

Comments

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:54

Your wife sounds awesome

i_amthe_walrus 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Agreed. Op, you might want to ask your wife to give you your balls back.

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

Yeah their probably rolling around in her purse next to some lipstick

ilovesarcasm 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:28

11- It seems she has gone and put them on, lol. OP, have you googled the word "cuckold" before? It is suggested you do, but later. Go fix me a sandwich.

Akai_fml 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 21:18

Agreed #1! Hey OP, if you're done with your wife, can I have her?

eatsleepjb 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:55

That's one wife you got there

maxwells_hammer 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:24

Well yes most cultures do only allow one wife.

eatsleepjb 8

Sunday 25 December 2011 0:40

True..very true

SomeRussianGirl 3

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:46

29 just owned that comment lmao

Amburito 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

She sounds like a keeper to me!

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

This could be the beginning to a great ****. Keep going, pls.

sbharani96 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

"Oh that's how it happened, huh? Well I think I can top that."

moop256 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:05

Mabye it's the video that gave boner his boner

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:51

16, ...elaborate?

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:53

I'm sure boner is completely capable of getting his boners! he doesn't need videos. or video games, or whatever the hell you were trying to say.

hellbilly205 17

Saturday 24 December 2011 9:57

Every1luvsboners is back maybe things are looking up from here on FML.

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 25 December 2011 7:45

fappity fap fap

aznbiznitch666 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 13:39

Or maybe dude got the boner listening to his wife telling his coworkers how she took her boyfriends virginity. At least she wasn't telling them how she lost hers.

Theclarksondales 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Seriously, why would you let her do that? Stand up for your Self!

Glidefedt 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:11

Yourself, duckballs.

baseballplaya5 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

adbeck 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:56

Your mom

baseballplaya5 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:09

My mom left me when I was 3

Icedogs133 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:48

Her statement sounds perfectly right to me.

ALpein 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 19:43

Maybe your mom left you because she got a job as a professional kitchen cleaner.

eatsleepjb 8

Sunday 25 December 2011 2:45

His mom leaving him is nothing to joke about....

PinkHorset 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 4:19

You sir must have big balls but a small pensi

baseballplaya5 7

Sunday 25 December 2011 8:35

Across the country? Seems a bit extensive, don't you think?

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:57

"slowly, slowly, he slid in me. Then he passed out. But I kept *******." Yup.

ITIvRAPTORvITI 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 1:06

Rotflmfao!!!

animalover721 3

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

Tipppppppssyyyyyyyy

MasterJMan 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

I like how you describe it as "bone chilling" how drunk was she?

lindseykcool 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:54

blood-chilling, you mean? even creepier.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 13:27

"How unattractive is she or how awkward was the sex?" was the first question in my head. I've never heard of a chilling sex story; she'd have to be a disfigured manatee who drugged and raped a 12-year old boy before I felt my blood chilling.