Kids: Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes,...

By oops123 - 16/07/2012 14:38 - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 244

You deserved it 29 383

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By octoberrain - 12/10/2011 15:41 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 480

You deserved it 3 663

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 623

You deserved it 4 973

By BMike - 11/07/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 593

You deserved it 2 979

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 037

You deserved it 2 603

Quiet

By Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 850

You deserved it 40 534

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 361

By Magicali - 22/04/2013 02:56 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 320

You deserved it 15 314

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 3 821

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 00:00

Today, our youngest child finally moved out of our house. I went to embrace my wife and say something romantic about us growing old together, but she said, "Thank God they're gone, I can finally leave you." An hour later, she was gone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 166

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 4 947

yankfan89 27

Monday 16 July 2012 18:54

Well at least you will be missed by someone in that family.

aimferd 4

Monday 16 July 2012 18:54

good thing hes moving

Comments

Spark_Slicker 19

Thursday 19 July 2012 19:11

I hate perverted little kids. Have to deal with my little brothers friend all the time.

noisebox 1

Thursday 19 July 2012 19:41

He s going to miss when he chokes the chicken in your honor

babysittingfail 0

Thursday 19 July 2012 22:21

You're welcome? O.o

JessicaLovebieb 3

Thursday 19 July 2012 23:23

Hopefully u looked good to him(:

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 20 July 2012 5:50

At least he was a gent enough to walk over to you; admit it and thank you for it.

Tasha_D 9

Tuesday 31 July 2012 18:17

Be glad he was happy about this! It's almost a compliment.

Siena5687 4

Tuesday 7 August 2012 1:47

Good times, good times

daisiebud 18

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:55

My brother's 13, and he closes his eyes and looks away even at shampoo commercials. :P

OldMemoriesFade 8

Sunday 28 October 2012 19:40

Lol, they took down the other FML, that copied this one!

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 30 January 2014 17:46

Creep...well now you know what to do...hope your next neighbor is better...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 608

The Top

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 2 089

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 334

You deserved it 40 730

Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 514

You deserved it 819

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 669

You deserved it 8 162

Today, one of my coworkers was recently promoted, so I'm now officially the last person of our team, hired in the same year, to still have "junior" as part of my job title. Not that it’s relevant, but I’m also the oldest member of the team by about 15 years, yet still "junior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 263

Today, my 73 year-old grandfather asked me to help him search up something on his PC. As soon as I typed in the first letters, one of his previous searches popped up, that being, "Lesbian porn." I still feel not so great about seeing that, and the fact that I myself am a lesbian and he knows that isn't helping much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 351