Parents and Intimacy: Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual...

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By wittlegirl - 13/07/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't understand all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table, "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 380

You deserved it 4 008

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 227

You deserved it 4 190

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 222

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 404

You deserved it 5 045

Reading skills

By yudencow - 18/09/2019 18:00

Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 181

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 113

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 339

You deserved it 4 187

By ewmomew - 12/09/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 711

You deserved it 9 386

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 4 333

Degrading

By Failure2017 - 04/11/2017 19:30 - United States

Today, my husband referred to me as his “favorite meat sock” in front of our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 473

You deserved it 487

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 12:00

Today, my parents yet again spent over ten minutes discussing and joking about something minor about me, in this case my preference for Pepper Jack cheese over American. They've done this my whole life, and refuse to understand why I suffer from such crippling self-consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 179

SexyBeast145 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:12

dude that's so gross hahaha

tnlander 20

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:15

Try the shock reply. "Dad no one at this table wants to eat your ****. Now can I please finish my dinner?" That will shut him up.

Comments

bonnie_vb8 5

Thursday 14 July 2011 9:17

Haha I kinda want to meet your parents. They sound like a fun hang!

taazer 12

Thursday 14 July 2011 9:27

i agree with 4 that would be freakin hilarious

diaz5 1

Thursday 14 July 2011 9:40

(gag) eww

daydreamer244 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 10:13

at least u know they love each other :)

daydreamer244 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 10:15

love it!

ImTotallyAsian 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 12:31

lmao

benniful 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 13:40

o_______o you mean it's not supposed to have random blackish green bits in it? wooooooah :O

kittykatt222 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 13:50

no you should have said " dad may I try some of your sausage?" that will get them to stop sayin things in front of you ;)

igaboo 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 14:08

Your dad had eggs for breakfast, your mom had sausage >:D

partyfool2011 4

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:11

no his dad had a waffle. a blueberry waffle...

creedaddict 9

Thursday 14 July 2011 14:33

ahhhhh thats sweet ur parents still got the hots for each other lol

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I agree, your life sucks 20 917

You deserved it 2 968

Today, a female friend of mine keeps telling people we’re dating. No matter how many times I told her I'm gay and only attracted to men, she won’t take that for an answer. She’s actually arranged for me to meet her parents next weekend. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 001

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I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 114

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You deserved it 136

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I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 186

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I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 756

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 057

You deserved it 1 482

Same thing different taste

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