Miscellaneous: Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing,...

FML for mobile
Free

By crankg - 21/10/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 566

You deserved it 55 374

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 2 057

Hangover time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 409

You deserved it 30 870

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 201

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 30/08/2018 23:30

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 901

You deserved it 423

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 740

Keep it down

By Andy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 822

You deserved it 4 543

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 56 533

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 134

You deserved it 46 997

ambowew 7

Friday 21 October 2011 11:58

Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.

Tarak_fml 7

Friday 21 October 2011 11:59

Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?

Comments

browneyed 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 15:34

why didn't you just go to the bathroom?

superbubbles 4

Saturday 17 March 2012 5:32

Urine promotes plant growth. :)

cherryllollo 7

Tuesday 17 July 2012 15:49

ew. what a disgusting lazy pig. i bet you're single, frickin creep

VaultDweller106 7

Saturday 15 September 2012 7:58

I don't see how this is an FML. I've submitted many real FMLs and some how this retarded post sneaks past.

Denny1 15

Saturday 22 December 2012 0:48

YOU NEED HELP !

Asstazztic 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 22:50

******* loser

PurpleDrankkx 7

Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:53

You deserved it you ******* moron

jennifernorvell 7

Sunday 20 April 2014 5:30

U r an idiot. U can go pee in ur own bathroom.

asmb100 27

Thursday 9 October 2014 9:37

Introverts, UNITE! Separately...

shotgun_girl 17

Sunday 6 March 2016 16:34

Omg yes! Parallel play for the win!

andreastout 19

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:14

I bet the plant died!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Gross Food ACAB Family Cops Love Technology Miscellaneous Embarrassing Geek My ex Cheating Pregnancy Public freakouts AITA Customers Work Plumbing Money Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Sex Relatable Kids Parenting Relationship advice Argument Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 448

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 808

You deserved it 47 945

The Top

Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 5 293

Today, I had to admit to myself that I’m not attracted to my boyfriend on any level. I agreed to go out with him because he's a nice guy, but the reality is we have absolutely nothing in common. Not to mention, we have the sexual chemistry of a vegan and a bacon cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 1 062

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 951

You deserved it 43 378

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 12 929

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 905

You deserved it 2 646

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 796

You deserved it 8 813