Health: Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired,... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 715

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 711

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 930

You deserved it 2 893

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 3 127

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 062

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 36 414

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 991

You deserved it 6 547

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 5 566

By spoiled22 - 12/10/2011 07:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 866

You deserved it 28 212

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:58

dumbass nice job spraying yourself.

karmennn 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:00

that was stupid. ydi for spraying yourself with pepper spray...expired or not

Comments

Zuber_fml 4

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:16

someone isnt to bright...

kirrem 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:21

-_- ...really? you wanted to test it? something tells me ur gonna be earning a darwin award in your life op

bmxboy430 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:52

hey i think my stun guns broken,wanna test it for me?

imbored666 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:52

hmmm I see a bottle of expired rubbing alcohol. I wonder if it still stings when I put it on a open wound. *dab dab* *sizzle sizzle* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHhHHhHhhhhhHHhHhHhhhhhh

imbored666 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:57

oh yeah just saying, since it is a mixture of chemicals, it could get stronger after expiration date has passed (like some medicine)

imbored666 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:57

oh yeah just saying, since it is a mixture of chemicals, it could get stronger after expiration date has passed (like some medicine)

get_sum 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:12

Wow, something designed to temporarily disable someone worked while it wasn't at it's prime. Lesson: Mace is still mace, even if it's old.

sk8erd 15

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:14

a lesson well learned....

j_cat187 19

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:17

op: oversized penis

MsLebanese 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 9:40

thats not a good idea..... xD

WeAreScrewed 3

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:16

Idiot.

Ugi 26

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:56

It's probably expired because they allow for a tiny loss of propellant over time so after a while it won't spray so far. That's not going to stop it burning like a bastard on whatever it does reach. Like you, let's say. Idiot.

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 652

The Top

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 654

You deserved it 1 031

Today, I was in an elevator with a coworker I barely know. My stomach thought that it was time to remind me I hadn’t eaten breakfast. It growled like a dying whale, and my coworker gave me a concerned look. To make it worse, the elevator got stuck for five minutes. We stood in awkward silence, with my stomach making noises the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 112

Today, my roommate shouted his entire part of the conversation at the dinner table. He refuses to get his hearing checked, nor lower his voice, so now my ears hurt for the rest of the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 105

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then stole my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 4 542

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 471

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 139