Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island.... - FML

By Oze - 18/02/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 703

You deserved it 2 882

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Same thing different taste

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 102

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 2 867

Noise

By wide awake - 31/07/2020 14:01

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 224

Great solution

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 899

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 769

You deserved it 3 417

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 160

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 226

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

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Top comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:12

This FML is dumb. lol.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:17

Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...

Comments

jif_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 18:44

obviously the FML is OP's weird roommate. and if OP lives in a dorm or something, sleeping 3 ft apart is understandable.

blazingman311 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 18:57

What a douchbag

tricky_tig3r 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 18:58

Um, muppet treasure island, best movie ever!!! Pretty sure OP should consider themselves blessed. "how does she do she do that!?" "sailing for adventure on the big-blue-wet-thing"

Fingers0689 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 18:58

that movie ****** rocks. you suck for not liking it. ydi

Gavik 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 19:10

That's what you get for going to OSU.

aback 4

Thursday 18 February 2010 19:23

Fall asleep to some really rank **** in self defense?

aback 4

Friday 19 February 2010 1:01

I was shocked enough to find out there was a such thing as Clown ****. What sort of person goes for Muppet ****? X[ Had to laugh at the "beat himself up" comment.

frickyourlives 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 20:20

Tell him headphones ftw.

Blatstuff 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 20:26

Erm, put your foot down already. Or simply move out or into another room. OR ban his ass to the couch. Problem solved. Only an FYL if you let it continue to be.

shiritt 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 20:33

hi, uhm, i'm shiritt, i am looking for a girl that is funny, and, uhm :/ yeah, smart. o wait, wrong site :O

SunsetFever 3

Thursday 18 February 2010 21:46

I find this situation oddly endearing. I have to ask though, do you have to tuck him in every night too?

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The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 98

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 295

The Top

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 431

You deserved it 74 102

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 9 015

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

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You deserved it 9 183

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 400

You deserved it 6 049

Today, my city is in the news because of a huge Covid outbreak in a factory that's under construction. They have over a thousand workers and refuse to shut down to stop the spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 157

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 518

You deserved it 7 191