Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island.... - FML

By Oze - 18/02/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 703

You deserved it 2 882

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Same thing different taste

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 102

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 2 867

Noise

By wide awake - 31/07/2020 14:01

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 224

Great solution

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 899

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 769

You deserved it 3 417

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 160

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 226

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

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Top comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:12

This FML is dumb. lol.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:17

Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...

Comments

ashylarry 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:29

this is an awful fml. it's not even a ydi....it just sucks

f_alltheirlives 3

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:34

Hmm... we see you have boom-boom sticks... bye bye.

KurouTenshi 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:37

MUPPETS~ IN~ SPACE~!!!

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:49

Is it strange that I would actually Gonzo someone's Rizzo before? (cues Statler and Waldorf) Statler - "Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show." Waldorf - "Who's a fool? You watched it."

angrynegro7 16

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:51

How is this an FML? Haven't you heard of earplugs? :/

BlueBomber 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:53

Hahaha, you win the Internets on this one, sir.

zuuzuu_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:57

steal it off him!! and kill the evil movie!!

mylifeisaverage9 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:09

Yes, you're life sucks because you have to watch the Muppets... Seriously, get over yourself. This doesn't belong on FML...

Osakhomen 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:11

Invest in some earplugs. Best thing ever. I go to sleep early some nights, and the walls are really thin in my apartment... so when my roommates friends come over, even if they're talking in a normal tone, it's pretty loud, so I just put in some earplugs... and there's silence! Also use them because my room's near a recycling bin for glass and cans, so when they pick it up it gets pretty loud. Also, tell him to invest in some earphones...

sirbrickrock1 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:15

oh well, atleast you don't see curmet the frog in your dreams

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

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You deserved it 148

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 957

Today, I was chilling with my best friend and suddenly I got a text from my ex saying he wanted me back. My best friend saw the text and said, "Don't go back with him, you deserve better." I wanted to go back with him but I didn't. Later, I saw them hanging out and turns out they're dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 141

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 95

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 108

You deserved it 5 161

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 139

You deserved it 891